[One second to take stock of the way Kanaya looks at him and he's done. It's almost easier with Terezi and Gamzee, who are being openly psychopaths, so much different than the ones he knows who accept him without question. But Kanaya is acting like herself, kind, compassionate, the same troll who saw his blood and was too polite to mention it but never cared at all. And she's looking at him like he crawled out from underneath her shoe. Or maybe it just looks that way to him, he tries to tell himself that's true, but it hurts to have confirmation of what he's always known-- that he has to prove himself worthy, because him alone will never be good enough for anyone.
He feels stupid for thinking he belonged with any of them, stupid for thinking he was the only one who could handle Gamzee when he's fucking fine with someone who isn't nearly the trainwreck of a person he is, stupid for caring about himself in all of this when he has no right to. So he just puts his head between his knees, and if Terezi decides to stab him in the throat after all that's just fucking fine.]
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He feels stupid for thinking he belonged with any of them, stupid for thinking he was the only one who could handle Gamzee when he's fucking fine with someone who isn't nearly the trainwreck of a person he is, stupid for caring about himself in all of this when he has no right to. So he just puts his head between his knees, and if Terezi decides to stab him in the throat after all that's just fucking fine.]