crusthatecean | ♋ PCG 21; backdated to December 25

♋ PCG 21; backdated to December 25

[Phone; Action for 842 Hastings]

[Karkat has been staying at Sollux's ever since Gamzee lost his shit midway through the Christmas stuff. He's been keeping a low profile and avoiding everyone except Sollux. He's still sore and impacted by his injuries, which have been stitched and bandaged up but still have left him bruised and hurting. It's less the injuries than his mental state which has led him to keep to himself. But once he notices, the morning of the 25th, that things seem to have gone back to normal, he starts to feel a little better. It takes him until afternoon to make up his mind to make a phone call, but he eventually does.

He still doesn't feel great, but he at least sounds like himself over the phone, if slightly subdued and hesitant.]

So none of us were fakes all along. Imagine that. Imagine, Mayfield, playing games with your pans. There was no way to guess.

...No, sorry, okay, I did not actually make this transmission to give you attitude. Sorry.

I should probably filter this shit, but I have no idea who to filter it to, so if you didn't care about me disappearing, do me a favor and shut the fuck up. Or hassle me, I probably deserve it.

Anyway. I'm sorry.

You won't hear that from me often, so enjoy that, I guess. And now I have shit to deal with, so let's get the hassling over with, much like removing a bandage or taking a nail and driving it efficiently into my ocular globe.

[Filtered to Terezi]

I hope I won't be executed for the crime of calling.

...Okay, that was meant to be a joke, but it was stupid. Can we just pretend I didn't say that?

[Filtered to Gamzee]

I'm coming back to the hive. We really fucking need to talk, so I need you to stay lucid to the extent you can do that before you...before there are problems. How are you right now?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you even understand what happened?

[He pats him on the back, trying to calm him down, but also frustrated with the situation. He doesn't know how to make it clear that it wasn't Gamzee who caused everything, but he needs to do that because he hates this.]

Don't you remember that I told you you could leave it to me and nothing would happen? I fucked up, I shouldn't have left. The worst part is if I had taken two seconds to think, I would have realized leaving would have caused something like that.

If you really feel the need, I accept your apology, but I'm sorry I let that happen in the first place.

[He sniffles pathetically, emitting the occasional miserable little honk into Karkat's shirt. He still has absolutely no idea what Karkat's apologizing for or even talking about really, although he's in absolute agreement about the not leaving part.]

But I hurt you. Real - real motherfuckin' bad. And I said some motherfucking nasty shit.

Not that bad.

[It's both true and not; Slick used to stab him up worse than that and mean it as a friendly thing (he thinks). But he's emotionally so much more vulnerable than he is physically, and the nasty shit hurts worse than any fucked up knee could. But he does not want to burden his friends any more than he has, so he'll keep that part bottled up as much as he can.]

You were an asshole. It's not your fault.

[He lets out a low, frustrated sigh, though the amount of actual malice in it is tempered by the way he's still holding on to Gamzee and letting him sniffle into his shirt.]

Gamzee. When I said we needed to talk, I meant about more than just this. Because the thing is, I've seen you like that before. I knew that would happen and I know why. That's why I am saying I'm sorry.

[That finally gets him to lift his head a little, brows furrowing in confusion.]

Uhhhh...I don't think I got any remembering going on for whatever you're all talking about. What?

I'm ahead of you in the timeline, remember?

[He gives him a squeeze and then lets go.]

It's cold out here, and I want to sit. Let's go inside.

[He trails after Karkat, looking a little lost.]

Awwwawaugh, is this more timeline clowning around? That shit always done gives me a wicked motherfuckin' spongeache.

This shit confuses everyone, so it doesn't surprise me you can't wrap your defective thinkpan around it.

[He walks into the hive, putting weight on his injured knee so that the limp, while still there, is less pronounced. He can only do that for so long, though, so when he reaches the couch he sits, leaving a space next to him for Gamzee, which he pats with one hand. Gamzee doesn't usually need an invitation to get into his space, but he's keeping his distance enough that he isn't sure he would take the hint without direction.]

I asked you once before if you wanted to know about this shit, but honestly I didn't phrase the question fairly, I think because I don't want you to know. But it's beginning to get difficult to avoid the problem.

Here's your choice. I can tell you something about the future that is going to be kind of awful to hear about, but it will mean you'll understand a lot of what's been happening and you'll know what you need to do to avoid things happening like last week. Or you can go back to not worrying about anything in particular and I will take care of everything, and I swear I'll do a better job, but after last week I can't promise that I won't mess things up anyway.

[He takes the seat next to Karkat and immediately leans into him, curling into the heat. He's silent for a few moments, trying to work out what Karkat's saying. Gamzee's never been curious about the future timeline, figuring that if he ever goes back he'll find out what happens when it happens and doesn't have to worry about it until then, and if he stays in Mayfield forever then he won't need to know anyway. And the way Karkat and the others talk about the future sometimes, it sounds like something he'd rather not have to stress about.

On the other hand, he really doesn't want to hurt Karkat or anyone else again, and surely whatever's happening in the future can't be that bad...right?]

...what do you think I should do?

I can't tell you that. If it was me, I would want to know, but my decisions about the timeline have never been the best, and we're different. I like to be in control, and you like to sit on your ass and drink shitty soda.

[He puts an arm around his shoulder, in and of itself a sign that this is something serious.]

Haha, that's all being where the motherfuckin' dream life's at, yo.

[He snuggles in and sighs.] If I get my knowledge on about the shit going down in the future, can I all up and change it?

[Yeah, allowing this. He's frowning, though, not in the angry way he often is, but serious and concerned.]

I don't know how it works. It's possible. If you go back, and you remember somehow. But you would either be dooming your timeline or mine, and in a doomed timeline, everyone dies. Fuck, I think that would be worth it to me, though, even if it's some other shitpan asshole Karkat who reaps the benefits of it. Like I'll know.

In all likelihood, though, no. We probably can't change that future, and if I have my way we're not going back to it anyway. The only future we have any impact on is the one we have here. So maybe you'll change that, prevent the same thing from happening in Mayfield. I really have no idea, don't look to me for time explanations.

[yeah okay no, he doesn't understand any of this doomed timeline stuff]

So if I find out, everyone kicks the nasty shit? Uhhhh...I think I will keep on chilling in the wicked ignorance up on over this shit, then.

No, that's not what I mean. Fuck, at this point if anything changed it would pretty much have to mean fewer of us die, so forget it.

[He'd be from a doomed timeline, and he would die, but if it means less of them die in the alpha timeline, that's worth it to him even if it lets some other Karkat get all the credit.]

No one remembers anything when they go back, so let's just assume there is no way to change anything that happens back in the veil, but it doesn't matter because we're not leaving.

Equius and Nepeta all what done got panscrubbed though, yeah? You think they got their bad selves all up and kicked back to the Veil like Sollux and Terezi did? [not that anyone's told him what happens there, he just knows they returned for a bit]

Yeah. That's what happened.

[His tone changes a little, thinking of Equius and Nepeta. A little quiet, a little more sad.]

They're coming back sooner or later. All of us do.

[He doesn't really notice the tone change and just assumes that Karkat's down because they've been droned.]

I guess if all you motherfuckers are being all ahead of me and possessing the wicked knowledge on the future...[He scrubs a hand through his hair.] I dunno, is it really being all that motherfucking bad?

It is and it isn't.

[He sighs.]

That's not fair. It's bad, you'll think it's that bad. But it isn't as bad as I thought it was when I first got here. Someone I thought was dead turned out to be all right, and something else sort of seems to have resolved itself.

But yes, it's bad. When I said some of us died, I meant more along the lines of...most of us. Not you, that's not your thing. But that's bad, too.

[He doesn't look too shocked by that revelation; he already knew about Kanaya and Feferi, and he knows Karkat's still alive, and it's kind of hard to worry about what happens in the Veil in the first place when they're not even there anymore.]

But it's like you all motherfucking said, yeah? We're all being alive here in this miracle town, so that shit don't really matter none. [He shrugs.] Long as everything and everyone's being chill here, I don't gotta know who bites it there.

If only everyone else felt that way.

It's not about who dies, Gamzee, it's something else. Is that really how you feel?

I dunno. I just...[He sighs, tilting his face into Karkat's shoulder.]

I don't wanna ever be hurting my friends none. What do I gotta do to keep that sort of nasty business from all up and happening again?

You can't. Mayfield does that shit.

But you can have a moirail. Like Kanaya was when she stopped you, do you remember?

Uhhh...but I don't think I'm pale for Kanaya. Like I'm all being pretty motherfuckin' sure I ain't black for Terezi. That was real weird as fuck, yo.

Are you sure? Kanaya is good at that kind of thing.

You...you think I should ask? I mean, I guess I could be all giving it a shot if you think it's a good idea....[Karkat what are you doing no Gamzee is the least romantic person ever and will actually do this if you tell him to no...]

It's not what I think, it's what you fucking think! Surprise, letting someone else make your romantic decisions for you is a terrible idea! I just...you obviously need someone to keep you in line and I would do it, but Kanaya is good at this kind of thing.

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