♋ PCG 3

[crusthatecean]

[So, Karkat has been here a few weeks now, experienced his first event, figured out his way around. He's gotten his first regain, which has put him back in his troll body. But he's still not sure exactly what's going on, and he's aware of that to realize that he probably alienated everyone who could tell him.]

[Phone]

...Okay. It's me again, the raging fuckass who accused you all of bringing me here. It's possible that was a hasty conclusion.

Anyway, I know some of you knew the previous me who was here. Normally I try to avoid this kind of thing, but it's starting to get inconvenient, so...I want details. What he did, how he knew you, that kind of shit.

So...let's hear it. If you're willing to help me out, at least. Spare no gory details, I'm used to it.

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Or maybe I was lying and I'm just running damage control.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

So either you're giving credit or assuming the worst. Maybe you haven't changed.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Why would I change?

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

Maybe you finally saw a mirror and realized how miserable you look all the time?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're right, I'm going to turn over a new leaf!

I'll just laugh at everything and go around licking people all the time, that's much healthier!

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

Do you have any idea how funny that would be? Karkat, do you even know how to laugh? I think it's physically impossible for you to muster that level of happiness.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I'm sure carefree and irreverent! I am mustering so much happiness right now, you don't even know. All the happiness.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

Well at least we know your sarcasm still works.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It is in good working order, thankfully.

You should be glad. It'll be easy to tell if I'm panwashed.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

It might be an improvement. [ She's mostly kidding. Really. ]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, our group have been on a fucking turnstile in the line for panwashes, so odds are you'll find out.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

[ She's quiet for a moment, thinking. ]

What happens after you're panwashed?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You know all the humans around who aren't really all there? It's that.

Basically you wake up and boy oh boy gee whiz are you fucking happy to be spending your days as a human spazmobile in your perfect fucking human hive! They make you think you always lived here, and you'd never want to live anywhere else, and you don't remember anything else, either. Forget shoving molding chock masses down your foodpipe all day or whatever it is you do with your time, because now you're just going to go human school with your human friends and cook and try on new dresses or what the fuck ever, and you'll be doing a lot of that, so hope you enjoy that stuff. Oh wait, you will, because they'll make you.

And coming from this end of things, it's a pretty nauseating sight.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

I hope you know that if this happens to you, I'm going to pay someone to record it somehow so that I can torture you with it forever.

[ The best Matesprit.

The best. ]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your concern, it means the world to me!

Do it and I'll personally repaint every inch of this town in a lovely color I like to call Fuck You.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

[ She'll still sound rather nonchalant about the whole thing, but there is a rather serious undertone. ]

Well then I guess you should shouldn't get panwashed and there won't be a problem at all. So you can continue on being grumpy like a freshly hatched grub and being a 'raging fuckass'.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't plan on it, but it doesn't seem to be something we have any control over.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

Well if you get panwashed I'll make sure to embarrass you as much as what I can, so at least it will be worth it.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, then I guess I'll have to be putting my energy into making sure you don't get the chance!

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

It isn't like you spend your time doing anything else. Other than calling people fuckasses and yelling at all of us.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I do plenty, I just don't have to wear a dragon suit to do it.

[t4st3s.livejournal.com]

What is your obsession with the dragon suit? If you want one, Karkat, all you have to do is ask.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I'll pass. I can't think of anything I'm less interested in.