♋ PCG 3

[crusthatecean]

[So, Karkat has been here a few weeks now, experienced his first event, figured out his way around. He's gotten his first regain, which has put him back in his troll body. But he's still not sure exactly what's going on, and he's aware of that to realize that he probably alienated everyone who could tell him.]

[Phone]

...Okay. It's me again, the raging fuckass who accused you all of bringing me here. It's possible that was a hasty conclusion.

Anyway, I know some of you knew the previous me who was here. Normally I try to avoid this kind of thing, but it's starting to get inconvenient, so...I want details. What he did, how he knew you, that kind of shit.

So...let's hear it. If you're willing to help me out, at least. Spare no gory details, I'm used to it.

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, so that one is going to depend on context, but in this case, it is me.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

Oh, hi Fuckass-san! My name is Yamame!

Oh, um, also Yamame wanted to know what you meant by "previous you?"

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I mean the version of myself, Fuckass-san, who was here before, and who is even more of a raging fuckass than I am.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

[There is a long pause.]

Yamame is confused!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's pretty simple, but I won't try to explain it. Timeline bullshit seems to be beyond most human capabilities.

If you get panwashed here, you might come back forgetting everything. That happened to me, and I want to know what the guy before did, because he's an idiot.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

But Yamame is not human!

P-panwashed? Yamame isn't sure what that means but I think I know what you're talking about, fuckass-san! The weird things that happen here.

Well, Yamame does not know you but you just sounded fun to talk to!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I forget what you humans call it. It's when you get your think pan scrubbed down and you act like a drone.

Anyway, I'm glad there are some people who never met him.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

Oh, so when you get droned. [Yamame's still having difficulties with Parsee getting perma-droned, so her tone is a bit sad there.]

Well, Yamame will be friends with the current fuckass-san then!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, I don't really take random friend requests from total strangers who refer to themselves in third person. It's nothing personal, I'm just a picky asshole.

I'll accept that we may have a mutually agreed upon toleration on our hands. For the time being. How's that sound?

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

But Yamame is only one person!

Yamame will be your friend anyway, so if you ever need help you can ask me!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

This isn't something I'm up for haggling on. The offer of toleration is going once, going twice...

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

Okay! Yamame will tololerate fuckass-san!

But Yamame will still be his friend.

It's okay, I have lots of friendships that are one-sided!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Well, that's just fucking sad.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

No it's not! It just means that people will have a friend even if they think they don't!

Someday, you'll need a friend and Yamame will be there for you!

[Can you withstand this level of moe, Karkat? CAN YOU??]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Yes. Probably.]

Okay, that's great to know. I'm sure there will be many occasions when I'll badly need someone just like you by my side.

And when that time comes, please just shoot me and get it over with.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

Yamame won't shoot fuckass-san! Yamame will give you hugs and make you feel better!

Then we'll go get malts and play fun games.