♋ PCG 4; Backdated to July 4, 50% Droned

[crusthatecean]

[Your name is Karkat Vantas. It is Fourth of July in the cozy small town you grew up in. You are waking up in your bedroom, which showcases your variety of interests. You have a passion for doing your schoolwork, helping dad in the toolshed, and going to the soda fountain with your pals. When you grow up, you aspire to be a police officer and help to keep the city safe.

It occurs to you this morning that you can't fucking stand this town. Even though it's your home, you ungrateful chump? No, you're being a fuckwitted asshole, you aren't even a human. Weren't the horns a dead giveaway? Wow, and now you're just being uncalled for!

You really seem to be two-minded today. On the one hand, You know that you were born here in Mayfield. On the other hand, YOU know that you're a troll who wriggled out of the mother grub's asshole on Alternia, and the other guy is a pan-usurping fuckstain.

>Karkat: express opinion loudly over the phone]

Okay. Fair fucking warning, everyone. I've been panscrubbed, but they've done a real dripping shit globe of a--

Holy lung-choking smokes, I can't believe what kind of dripping nosebleed is trying to take over my mind here. I mean, seriously, what did I do to deserve sharing a headcage with this rotting dopewad? It must have been pretty unimaginably terrible, so I apologize for that as well as for what an unrepentant piece of garbage the other me--

FUCK YOU! Do I go around interrupting your half-formed thoughts, as slobberingly moronic as they may be? Anyway, like I was saying, I'm sorry in advance for what a maladjusted humanfluid dribble my droned self is. And Terezi, if you're recording this, I fucking swear to all the human Jeguses that I'll--

Hey lamebrain, hold the phone! Are you seriously such a twisted abomination of common American decency that you're going to talk to a girl like that? Terezi, don't listen to this cad, he's so square that he comes to four finely honed--

Okay, seriously, shut your yammering pustular seedflap before you vomit an entire shit tidal wave all over this conversation, you embarrassing fuckstain residue! I'm trying to get a complete thought in here, and you-- OW! What the fuck, did you seriously just--

Don't act like you haven't been cruising for a knuckle sandwich all day, you classless amoral-- OW! Knock that-- OW, ow, fuck--

[The phone is still on, but the conversation seems to have dissolved into the sounds of insults and fighting.]

Comments

phone; 100%

[thespidertroll.livejournal.com]

Oh, COME ON. You're freaking out today, too?

Wait, what am I saying, all you do is freak out.

I know I say I can't stand the town some days, but you're all starting to be really stupid, you know that? Knock off the jokes, Karkat.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[thespidertroll.livejournal.com]

Heeey, you know me. I like to make trouble.

But come on, aliens? Is that the best you can do? Can't you just come out and admit you have self-esteem issues and need a doctor or something?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

phone; no drone...

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

...Fighting with yourself again. You really do enjoy doing that.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

It isn't an opinion, as it is fact, Mr. Vantas.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Taking over? ...Oh dear, you have been entangled in the town's newest annoyances, haven't you?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

No, it isn't crazy at all. In fact, that is exactly what is happening. A struggle for dominance.

phone; 100%

[fourthinline.livejournal.com]

...Control your language. There are children listening to this! Anyway, what is this nonsense about at any rate...? Tch.

1/3

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

3/3

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[fourthinline.livejournal.com]

Species? What is what supposed to mean? You're starting to sound as though you've been reading too many comic books.

Phone, 50%

[ra-ra-razputin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you show him who's boss!

1/2

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[ra-ra-razputin.livejournal.com]

I mean, wait, what? Darn it, now I'm doing it, too!

100%....

[roadroller]

Gee Karkat, are you practicing a ventriloquist act? Your dummy's voice could use some work, he sounds too much like regular you. ♪

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[roadroller]

Hehehehe. That's good stuff! ♪

[made-this-town.livejournal.com]

Just when I thought it wasn't possible to hate you any goddamn more.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[made-this-town.livejournal.com]

Here's an idea, kid: if you hate yourself so much, do yourself in! That's what I'd do. And you really shouldn't use that kinda language, you little brat. It ain't becoming of a growing young man.

[...wait a minute.]