♋ PCG 7

[crusthatecean]

[Phone]

[It's probably been awhile since you're heard this particular grumpy voice over the phone lines. Ever since his truth babble, he's been avoiding this particular form of communication. Karkat's still been out and about in town, but this is the first time since then that he's made any sort of public phone contact.]

Morning, everyone! It's me, your old pal Karkat! Can everybody in the world hear me right now? I wouldn't want to leave anyone out! Gosh, this is such a natural, not at all uncomfortable, and, dare I say it, fun means of communication that I can't imagine why anyone would ever not use this system!

Well, if you're all paying super close attention to whatever clearly important thing I decided to talk about today, I have a question. It's about pan scrubbing. Or whatever you call it. Droning is a pretty fucking idiotic term if you ask me. It sounds like pretentious highblood drivel, but knock yourselves out.

Are there any noticeable cycles or signs whatsoever that a person is gone, that a person is coming back, or why a person would be droned again and again, or has anyone else come to the conclusion that it exists for the singular purpose of just plain hard turnways fucking us over? Here, have your dead best friend back, good as new! Oh, wait, no, just our little prank, ha. ha. ha. Here, have the person you...none of your business, assholes, but go ahead and sort out all your little problems between you two and get back on the right hoof. There, finished? Okay, now try again. And again, because we'll just keep on panscrubbing away every time you make any progress.

Wow, do I sound like a whiny little bitch, or what? Yeah, there it is. That was my question.

Comments

[worstvikingever]

...wait. [He has to sort through that whole tirade. There was a question in there, right?] You're asking about droning? It's... kind of random, I think. For the most part, anyway. I think it's definitely used as punishment if you do stuff the town doesn't like, though. Like miss school or work, that sort of thing. But people get droned a lot just... randomly, and you can never really tell how long it'll be for.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...Wow. I don't know whether to find it funny or just sad that someone actually earnestly tried to answer my question.

[worstvikingever]

Are you trying to tell me you didn't want it answered? Why even bother asking, then?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No, I'm...

Look, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I asked a pointless fucking question and realized halfway through that I knew the pointless fucking answer already. I wasn't trying to be an asshole about it.

[worstvikingever]

No, it's okay. I think I understand.

...did someone you know get droned?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He sighs]

Yeah. A few someones.

[echidna]

[ Not!Sister out of nowhere! ]

You did sound a little whiny!

[ She laughs a little, but her expression turns serious. She has a feeling she knows exactly who he's talking about. ]

But I think I know what you mean. [ See: the Dave drone she has been pointedly avoiding ever since she found out such a thing existed. ] It really fucking sucks.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Thanks, that was what I was going for. The people have developed expectations for my public exclamations and I don't want to disappoint. Why else bother asking a question you already know the answer to?

[echidna]

[ She rolls her eyes, offering something of a sympathetic smile. ]

I wish I knew more about this... [ She hesitates, not sure which word to use for it. ] panscrubbing. Do you think there's a way to learn more about it? Maybe there's a way to fix it!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I doubt there is.

Well, okay, there probably is a way to fix it, it's just completely beyond our means and instead entirely at the whim of an existence that hates us. But yeah, that has to be the plan. There's nothing else productive to do.

[echidna]

I'm just brainstorming.

[ And she's trying to be productive, jeez, work with her here! ]

What do you think we should do then Mr. I know everything but ask all these questions anyway??

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

There's no pattern to droning that I've noticed. It can happen at any time. Sometimes it's "permanent", which is a bad name for it, since people can still come back at any time. They might not even remember being here. But to know if they're going to be gone for a good long while, if the shit they got back is gone, then you'll know.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's a good thing to keep in mind.

Too bad all of the drones I'm watching are never here long enough to accumulate much shit.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Then the next best thing, if they're the male head of household, is watch the name on the mailbox. If they disappear, it'll switch to someone else in the house. Those are the the only things I've noticed, anyway. sometimes if you wait long enough, people'll come back. They don't usually remember being here though.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Not that I've ever understood why a mature male would be considered the head of a human household, but I don't give a fuck about anybody in that category.

I know they come back. My...someone I know is going to be on her twenty second time soon enough.

[sanctusdei.livejournal.com]

Cuz that's how it generally works. [Hello 1940s sensibilities.]

Twenty-second?

[grand-theft-moe.livejournal.com]

You can tell if a droning is long term by wether the droned individual's been removed from the family portraits.

"Pan scrubbing" sounds like you were having a problem with washing dishes though!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Droning sounds like you're being culled.

Okay, maybe it's a cultural thing, but I get sick of humans insisting on using hoighty toighty expressions for the most basic shit.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Uh, sometimes the pan scrubbing, only lasts a really short time, and then they come back, and are okay.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...I know.

And sometimes it doesn't but forget it. This is stupid. This is the definition of slack-jawed drooling stupidity.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Uhhhh...droning?

[GUESS WHO STILL HASN'T GOTTEN THIS EXPLAINED TO HIM YET OR COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT IF IT HAPPENED...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Fuck. Look, don't worry about it.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

All right, if you be saying so, best friend. [and just like that, it is forgotten...]

Who kicked the wicked motherfuckin' shit? Ain't Sollux again, was it?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...I don't wanna talk about it. Jade will probably get mad anyway. We are zipping our pieholes about fucked up terrible things that happen in the future that I may have observed with my jaw dropped to the floor in a display of complete uselessness. Or she'll start demanding passwords.

Okay, thinking about it, you probably do need to know about the drone thing.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a motherfuckin' bitchtits plan to me, bro. Ain't no point in getting our worry on about the future. We just gotta kick back and wait for a motherfuckin' miracle to happen.

[waits expectantly...]