crusthatecean | ♋ PCG 18

[He isn't familiar enough to think twice before eating what just looks like another strange type of fungal food product. He doesn't feel the effects until later, when the feeling of intense terror and hallucinations overtake him. Even then, plagued by horrifying visions and the sensation of his vascular sac beating in his thorax so violently that he feels it might burst, he isn't aware this is not real or unusual.

In his visions, the walls are splattered with colorful gore. He's hunted by unstoppable predators he can't hope to flee or leave behind. He and everyone he knows is going to die. And worst of all? Preventing this was his responsibility, and he's failed. He's more than failed. All of this was his fault. The red lines cracking through the sky, destroying everything and everyone and ensuring their last safe haven will be gone is the same color as the red running through his veins. He is the cancer, and he will destroy everything he loves.

The sensation and knowledge is unsurprising. His worst fears come to life is something that by now, he is all too familiar with.]

[Action; 1338 Benny]

[Early in the afternoon, soon after the mushrooms have taken their effect, Karkat can be found in the family room of the house. He's still lucid, but he's pacing and clutching his garden sickle, and occasionally looking around at the walls and jumping at shadows. There's something clearly very wrong here; he looks either like he's about to bolt or like he's about to be sick, and he's muttering to himself.]

Oh god. Oh man. Fuck. Fuck. Oh man. Oh god.

[Phone]

[Karkat's voice over the phone is trembling badly; rather than his usual angry and loud tone, he sounds panicked and hollow.]

Okay. Fuck. Okay. I need everyone to fucking listen right the fuck now.

Those red lines earlier mean that Mayfield is going to be destroyed. We're going to need to find a way out, everyone, that's...that's something we can do. Shit. Okay.

If that's not enough, Gamzee, he's gone completely shitfucking off the fucking deep end again. He...fuck fuck fuck. If you see him around, stay away from him. Oh god. He's incredibly dangerous. I...shit, shit, I'm sorry, I promised I wouldn't let this happen, it's all my fault for not...I'm sorry...

You probably won't hear from me again, so don't wait for me to find a way out of here any way you can. I'm so sorry, you guys, I fucked up everything.

...Bye.

[He hangs up and won't answer any calls, but you may find him at or around 1338 Benny. He has definitely deteriorated from earlier, though, and it's evident from the way he'll react to anyone who approaches him that he may attack you with the sickle he's brandishing.]

((OOC: Sorry to post again so soon! I will still backtag the other post too. Feel free to action tag in response to the phone call or just in general, he'll mainly stay around his house but if you prefer he can be outside. Thanks!))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could fit everyone in town in, if I had to.

[He steps forward, gently and slowly.]

Jade's not dead.

I think she is.

I didn't tell you about this because I didn't want you to hurt him. I thought I could handle him myself.

I was just speaking to her.

[He's still maintaining a slow approach.]

Handle who? I'm not going to hurt anyone, Karkat.

You'll treat him differently and he doesn't deserve that. But it doesn't matter now. He'll only stop if he's killed, and he was my responsibility so I should be the one to put him down.

[between this and the phonecall, he's starting to put two and two together. But he'll play dumb for now.]

I'm not going to treat anyone differently. Who do you have to kill? One of your friends?

My moirail. Gamzee.

It isn't his fault, but he killed Jade and he's going to kill all of us if someone doesn't stop him.

...Gamzee.

I see.

But I just spoke to him. He seemed the same as ever. Not an angry bone in him.

He does that. Last time this happened, he convinced the others...

No one wants to believe he could be like this. But he's killed my friends before.

...And why did he do that? What happened to him?

I don't know. I wasn't paying enough attention to him, because I'm basically the shittiest excuse for a moirail in my species' history.

I mean, when you get into bluebloods and higher, a lot of them are unstable like that. We thought it was the sopor but I've fucking been making sure he eats it.

...I see.

So, how do we help him? Because I can't imagine Gamzee actually wants to be out killing his friends.

I don't know.

I'll just make him angrier if I go near him.

[Standing close to him now.]

What if I tried to speak with him?

He'll kill you.

I sent Equius to do that and he died because of me.

I'm not so easily killed.

...And I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Not entirely, anyway.

It was. Everyone died because of me.

Karkat.

You can't take on everything. Or blame yourself for everything. There's more going on than just you and the universe.

I gave Jade's universe cancer. When I created it. I'm the one who fucked everything up. And then the cancer came to our universe, so I fucked everything up there, too. Everything there has ever been for someone to blame themselves for is my fault. I exist for only one purpose and that is to destroy everything because all I am is a shitty disgusting mutation that should have been culled. The only reason I was even left alive was because someone, somewhere, pathetically believed I could ever accomplish anything but there is only one thing I have ever achieved, and in fairness to myself I am leaps and bounds above all the other contenders in the competitive sport of failure. Besides that, no, that is pretty much what is going on between me and the universe.

If you'll find Gamzee you'll only hurt him, and if anyone is going to do that it will be me, accepting some fucking responsibility for once.

Well. I don't know much about creating another universe, just rebooting it, but if you asked your friends, I don't think they'd agree with anything you just said.

And I told you, I won't hurt Gamzee.