♋ PCG 20

[crusthatecean]

[Action, 1338 Benny Road]

[Karkat wakes up unable to shake the memory of his dream. He has nightmares regularly, a combination of sleeping without a recuperacoon and everything he's been through since he began playing Sgrub. But something about this one felt more real and vivid and awful, and he remembers it more clearly.

But he wakes ordinarily, only to watch the news and hear his own name, among others, listed. He remembers. She told him she would erase his existence, and he said yes. That memory combined with the news spooks him; Mayfield is clearly doing something, and he doesn't know what to think. So when the television shuts off, he'll go looking for his housemates to try to calm his nerves.]

[Phone, later]

All right, this is Karkat. No, guess what, this is actually Karkat. I'm here. You can choose to believe me or not.

Is anyone else who supposedly disappeared still here? Let's discuss this latest Mayfield fuckstorm like the rational conversationalists I know we all aren't.

[Filtered to Feferi, Tavros, Eridan, and Sollux]

And I especially need to talk to all of you. Now. Don't give me any shit about whether or not I'm the real Karkat. If you are here, answer me now.

I can't believe a single one of you complete drooling panrotted fucking assholes.

[Filtered to Signless.]

You.

((OOC: Karkat has been erased, so he will seem like a fakey fake doppleganger!))

Comments

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[After watching the news, Gamzee's first reaction is to look for Karkat. He doesn't really know what the guy was talking about with people not existing anymore or whatever, but he knows he heard Karkat's name in there, along with Tavros's and some of his other friends.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

There you are. Look, I don't know what that was about, all right?

[He's lying, but he just wants this fucked up dream past him.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[He automatically turns at the voice, but his usual smile instantly vanishes as he jerks back from Karkat, looking as disturbed as he can get and even a little revolted.]

...who are you all supposed to be, motherfucker?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh god.

[They didn't, did they? Make all of his friends forget him but fail to erase him, because he doesn't even know what to do if they won't remember who he is.]

Come on, space case. You know who I am. Karkat. You remember me, don't you?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

No.

[He actually sounds a little...angry? Unsettled, certainly, and normally Gamzee's just as kind to his droned friends as he is to everyone else, but there's just something so, so wrong about the troll in front of him right now, wrong enough to shake even his calm complacency.]

You ain't being him in the least, brother. Where is he?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, that change in Gamzee's demeanor unsettles him more than anything else. He raises a hand to pat Gamzee on the cheek and hopefully calm him down.]

I'm right here.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[His reaction to the papping is instantaneous - he catches Karkat's wrist in one hand and jerks his head back as an abruptly disgusted expression crosses his face. It disappears as soon as it comes, but he still looks pretty shaken, scrubbing at his cheek hard. He doesn't really know why, but for some reason, as free and happy with casual touches as Gamzee usually is, the very thought of this fake trying to imitate such an intimate gesture makes him want to be sick.]

Don't do that. [He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his cheerful demeanor.] I don't got any clue what shit you're all be trying to pull, but it would really be the motherfuckin' bitchtits if you could quit with the masquerade. You ain't being too good at it, soooooorry.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Gamzee...

[The look of revulsion on his face does something horrible to him in the pit of his stomach. Being rejected by one of his friends is his worst fear, but it's even worse with Gamzee, who always accepts him, who doesn't look at anyone this way, who becomes his moirail, who he should have an unbreakable connection with. He pulls away.

Something is clearly very wrong here, but he hasn't been able to wrap his pan around exactly what's happened to make Gamzee reject him like this.]

Okay. Okay.

Gamzee, look at me, I need you to tell me something. If I'm not Karkat, who do you think I am? What do you see?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

I dunno, some kinda weird motherfuckin' town shit? I ain't too good with figuring out these things.

[He looks at the other troll obediently, really looks at him because maybe he'd gotten it wrong, maybe he's just having another one of his sopor hallucinations...but no, nothing's changed, it still makes his digestive sac churn because it does look almost exactly like Karkat. But there's something cold, something dead behind those eyes that Karkat never had, and it's so obvious that even Gamzee can notice it. The way he talks, the way he holds himself, everything is just so off that it's like watching a badly put-together game construct made from a picture drawn by a wiggler and a few faded memories. It's a million times worse than the drones, because at least the drones didn't try to imitate the real thing.]

I just know you ain't my best friend. Not by a motherfuckin' long shot.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It is the town. It's the town making you think that. Go ahead and look, I'm the only Karkat there is.

[He's getting frustrated. This isn't Gamzee's fault, it's his own, but it's still so hard and frustrating and he doesn't know how to fix it.]

You idiot, you can ask me anything and I'll prove to you it's me. When we met, you told me I was the first friend you ever had. Your hive is a disaster, it's covered in shitty clown posters and pie pans and you scare yourself by stepping on your own horns at least every time I talk to you. Back home, you messaged me all the time, even though I always just said I hated you and your typing bothers me. You know that I don't hate you, though. You told me you would always trust me.

no that icon is the cutest slkdjfs

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[Every word is like a stab to the gut - they're all true and they're what he wants to hear, but it just sounds mocking and twisted from the imposter. All he wants to do is believe this is the real Karkat and pull him into a hug, get shoved off and called an idiot...but no matter how hard he tries, all he can see is a fakey fake liar, and Gamzee stares at Karkat like he's breaking his heart.]

Please. Just stop.

kissu

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Shit.

[It's really not working; whatever Gamzee sees, he's not succeeding in changing it. He wants to respect what Gamzee is asking and stop, prevent himself from making Gamzee look any sadder than he already is, but he can't do that.]

I'm sorry. I need to understand this. Listen, there was this really strange dream, something Mayfield did. They got me to agree to something, and this is happening because I agreed.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[If he makes himself believe the troll in front of him is no longer pretending to be Karkat, it's easier to be friendlier to him, even if Gamzee can't quite look him in the eyes.]

Yeah, brother? What'd you all get your motherfuckin' dream on about?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[The impersonal way Gamzee is talking bothers him, but it isn't as bad as the open disgust.]

Someone came and showed me a way to help all of my friends, and all I had to do was agree to let her change things so I never existed.

Of course it was all a load of manipulative Mayfield hoofbeast dung, but at the time it was just hard to argue with. I don't really see what they're getting at with this, but it's clear the fact that you can't recognize me anymore has to do with it.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[He slouches down in a chair and stares up at the ceiling, avoiding looking at Karkat entirely - the troll talking doesn't look like him, doesn't sound like him, has nothing to do with him, and he has to pretend that's the case if he wants to get through this conversation at all.]

That don't make no sense to me, soooooorry. How does not existing help any motherfuckers?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I never said it made sense. It comes with having the universe's most obvious and exploitable flaws.

[He sighs, watching Gamzee's reaction to him. Gamzee is friendly to everyone, so he wouldn't have thought the difference between how he's normally treated and this would be so obvious, but it is. It's clear he's not being spoken to as Gamzee's best friend but as a complete stranger, and it bothers him a lot more than he would have expected it to. He wants to be someone important to him. And he knows he should let this conversation stay impersonal, it's the unselfish thing to do, but it's hard to pretend he doesn't care.]

I'm sorry, Gamzee. I'll fix this somehow.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[He shrugs, finally managing to smile now that he's no longer looking at the fake.]

Thanks, bro, but we all chill. I got all my motherfuckin' faith that a miracle will be up and bringing...bringing....

[He trails off, looking confused. He knows he's talking about someone important, someone who's missing, but he can't -- he can't remember their name, he's never forgotten something this huge before but no matter how much he wracks his brain, he can't remember his best friend's name--]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Karkat can't tell what the cause of Gamzee trailing off is well enough to understand exactly what's happening, but he can tell something is wrong, and he gives him a look of concern.]

Hey, you okay?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

I can't...

[He runs his hand through his hair, frustrated and bewildered.]

Sorry, who were we all talking about again?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[There's a sinking feeling in his stomach; he's gradually realizing what's happening and it makes him feel even more desperate.]

Karkat. We were talking about Karkat.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Right. Right, yeah, of course.

[He breathes a sigh of relief, still looking a little puzzled.]

Fuuuuuuck, I think I must have done hit one too many motherfuckin' pies today.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Be careful. Don't go off that stuff, but don't eat too much of it, either. No more than usual, all right?

[He's worried, but he's a stranger. There's no chance he can make Gamzee listen to him.]

You just check in with Jade if you aren't feeling well, let her make sure you're doing okay.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Sure motherfuckin' thing, brother. [Getting Gamzee to listen to someone isn't hard at all, even for a freaky fake clone thing - getting him to remember, on the other hand, is the difficult part.]

Don't worry, I'll hit her up if anything happens. Gotta all up and check on -- Kanaya, too. [He hesitates in the middle of that - he'd been planning on saying Tavros's name or maybe Terezi's, but Kanaya's had popped into his head for some reason. Oh well, he'll just go along with it.] She's real motherfuckin' smart, I bet she'll figure out what's going on.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Kanaya's name surprises him too, but it's a good idea. Kanaya understands why it's critical he doesn't go off the sopor, though she won't know just how bad Gamzee can get when he's had too much.]

Good idea.

I'll be here, too. I know we don't know each other, but I'll help you if you need anything, okay?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Thanks, dogg. [He sounds as friendly as usual, but it's obvious from his vague tone that he's not planning on coming to the clone for help any time soon.]