Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crusthatecean) wrote2011-07-17 11:30 am
crusthatecean) wrote2011-07-17 11:30 am
♋ PCG 6
[Audio Hook; Not Filtered]
Okay, so we're all sharing. Perfect. I can't avoid it anymore, so why not? I have to say, I can't manage to give two minuscule fucks about most of your problems, so maybe you won't give any fucks for mine, either, and I'm fine with that. Maybe the town making me spill the partially digested contents of my alimentary canal will finally make me hate it here. Everyone's so ready to find a way out, but my entire species is dead aside from a few of us, and there's a good chance rest of us aren't going to survive, and this place is able to bring some of us back. It's not as bad as all of you think, grow the fuck up.
No one ever asked me to be leader. I just pitched a massive shit fit about it like I always do, and no one wanted to deal with it or cared, so here I am. I guess I just wanted people to show me some fucking respect for once, which is some seriously shitty reasoning, but that's how it is. But I thought I did a pretty damn good job. I mean, all of us were basically huge gaping assholes, but we didn't get too off track and we beat the game in good time and everything.
And then it all crumbled into crusty dry turd flakes. We lost everything and then we started to fall apart and...a bunch of us died. Don't ask me how many, I don't know. Maybe all of us. But I blamed everyone for this shit. Mostly the humans, and I made a huge asshole out of myself trying to troll them, but it turned out it wasn't their fault. I could blame some of us for making a big shit show of everything, but I guess I'm too fucking sentimental and tender-hearted to put the blame for our absolute and total failure at the feet of any of them. Because I actually like them. Most of them. Maybe all of them, I don't know.
But I do know who I think screwed everything up for us. I've never exactly been fond of this douchebag. He got saddled with a mutant blood color that put him somewhere below shitclogged load gaper on the hemospectrum and instead of just dealing with it he hid it from everyone and pretended not to care about any of that like typing in stupid gray font and acting like an asshole all the time would make it not matter to anyone else. But then he decided he wanted to feel better about himself, so he insisted on being in charge and being a leader and went around acting important and making an ass of himself in bullshit memos and then when everything went wrong he just stood there and wasn't able to do anything. When a really good friend of his was killed, he just stood there, and when someone else was starting to lose it he didn't notice until the ship had already sailed to murderous rampage harbor and instead he just got caught up in some more petty bullshit. It's not anyone else's fault or problem because it wasn't anyone else's fucking responsibility, and that's all there is to it. Probably. Or maybe I just can't stand him and I'd rather have the blame resting squarely on his cartilage nub than anyone else's. I never wanted any of you to die, I really mean that.
...Yeah, this is just getting sad now. Not that it wasn't sad from the beginning. And no, I'm not talking about past and future selves, that's always been such a hilariously pathetic cop out. I know I didn't cause everything, but I didn't stop it. I blundered through every step of the way and accomplished nothing. But don't I feel better now for getting that all off my nub? No, I don't. I really don't. If you sat around listening to this pulsating wave of self-pity vomit, go fuck yourself.
[The phone hangs up with a loud slam.]
((You can call him back. Fair warning, he'll probably be pretty awful to anyone who responds.))
Okay, so we're all sharing. Perfect. I can't avoid it anymore, so why not? I have to say, I can't manage to give two minuscule fucks about most of your problems, so maybe you won't give any fucks for mine, either, and I'm fine with that. Maybe the town making me spill the partially digested contents of my alimentary canal will finally make me hate it here. Everyone's so ready to find a way out, but my entire species is dead aside from a few of us, and there's a good chance rest of us aren't going to survive, and this place is able to bring some of us back. It's not as bad as all of you think, grow the fuck up.
No one ever asked me to be leader. I just pitched a massive shit fit about it like I always do, and no one wanted to deal with it or cared, so here I am. I guess I just wanted people to show me some fucking respect for once, which is some seriously shitty reasoning, but that's how it is. But I thought I did a pretty damn good job. I mean, all of us were basically huge gaping assholes, but we didn't get too off track and we beat the game in good time and everything.
And then it all crumbled into crusty dry turd flakes. We lost everything and then we started to fall apart and...a bunch of us died. Don't ask me how many, I don't know. Maybe all of us. But I blamed everyone for this shit. Mostly the humans, and I made a huge asshole out of myself trying to troll them, but it turned out it wasn't their fault. I could blame some of us for making a big shit show of everything, but I guess I'm too fucking sentimental and tender-hearted to put the blame for our absolute and total failure at the feet of any of them. Because I actually like them. Most of them. Maybe all of them, I don't know.
But I do know who I think screwed everything up for us. I've never exactly been fond of this douchebag. He got saddled with a mutant blood color that put him somewhere below shitclogged load gaper on the hemospectrum and instead of just dealing with it he hid it from everyone and pretended not to care about any of that like typing in stupid gray font and acting like an asshole all the time would make it not matter to anyone else. But then he decided he wanted to feel better about himself, so he insisted on being in charge and being a leader and went around acting important and making an ass of himself in bullshit memos and then when everything went wrong he just stood there and wasn't able to do anything. When a really good friend of his was killed, he just stood there, and when someone else was starting to lose it he didn't notice until the ship had already sailed to murderous rampage harbor and instead he just got caught up in some more petty bullshit. It's not anyone else's fault or problem because it wasn't anyone else's fucking responsibility, and that's all there is to it. Probably. Or maybe I just can't stand him and I'd rather have the blame resting squarely on his cartilage nub than anyone else's. I never wanted any of you to die, I really mean that.
...Yeah, this is just getting sad now. Not that it wasn't sad from the beginning. And no, I'm not talking about past and future selves, that's always been such a hilariously pathetic cop out. I know I didn't cause everything, but I didn't stop it. I blundered through every step of the way and accomplished nothing. But don't I feel better now for getting that all off my nub? No, I don't. I really don't. If you sat around listening to this pulsating wave of self-pity vomit, go fuck yourself.
[The phone hangs up with a loud slam.]
((You can call him back. Fair warning, he'll probably be pretty awful to anyone who responds.))
no subject
I mean... you kept us together throughout the whole game! We would've been killing each other way earlier if it weren't for you. Of course it fell apart eventually, working together is hard fur -- I mean for -- trolls. Maybe it wasn't anyone's fault.
And I don't care what your blood is like, that's dumb. I don't think anyone does except maybe Equius, and even I think he can be kind of a jerk about it! Blood doesn't matter on the human planet, anyway, so you can still be our leader here. It's not like we stopped needing one.
I really really don't hate you. I kind of do the opposite of hating you.
no subject
[He doesn't clarify what he was agreeing to, though. He meant to hang up, but he couldn't really hang up on her like this, when she was even dropping the cat puns.]
Maybe it's not anyone's fault. It'd be pretty sad if I meant I really thought that it all came down to me. I don't really think much of what I did or didn't do made a difference.
It's more that I wish I could've done better for everyone. If I had to go and make myself the leader, then I could have at least figured out a way to lead. So why not take the blame for it?
no subject
You're making it sound like you broke some big promise to keep us all safe, but how were you supposed to? I don't think any of us could have done that, it's a really big job. You didn't let anyone down.
[ Not her, at least. ]
no subject
Can we talk about something else?