Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crusthatecean) wrote2011-07-17 11:30 am
crusthatecean) wrote2011-07-17 11:30 am
♋ PCG 6
[Audio Hook; Not Filtered]
Okay, so we're all sharing. Perfect. I can't avoid it anymore, so why not? I have to say, I can't manage to give two minuscule fucks about most of your problems, so maybe you won't give any fucks for mine, either, and I'm fine with that. Maybe the town making me spill the partially digested contents of my alimentary canal will finally make me hate it here. Everyone's so ready to find a way out, but my entire species is dead aside from a few of us, and there's a good chance rest of us aren't going to survive, and this place is able to bring some of us back. It's not as bad as all of you think, grow the fuck up.
No one ever asked me to be leader. I just pitched a massive shit fit about it like I always do, and no one wanted to deal with it or cared, so here I am. I guess I just wanted people to show me some fucking respect for once, which is some seriously shitty reasoning, but that's how it is. But I thought I did a pretty damn good job. I mean, all of us were basically huge gaping assholes, but we didn't get too off track and we beat the game in good time and everything.
And then it all crumbled into crusty dry turd flakes. We lost everything and then we started to fall apart and...a bunch of us died. Don't ask me how many, I don't know. Maybe all of us. But I blamed everyone for this shit. Mostly the humans, and I made a huge asshole out of myself trying to troll them, but it turned out it wasn't their fault. I could blame some of us for making a big shit show of everything, but I guess I'm too fucking sentimental and tender-hearted to put the blame for our absolute and total failure at the feet of any of them. Because I actually like them. Most of them. Maybe all of them, I don't know.
But I do know who I think screwed everything up for us. I've never exactly been fond of this douchebag. He got saddled with a mutant blood color that put him somewhere below shitclogged load gaper on the hemospectrum and instead of just dealing with it he hid it from everyone and pretended not to care about any of that like typing in stupid gray font and acting like an asshole all the time would make it not matter to anyone else. But then he decided he wanted to feel better about himself, so he insisted on being in charge and being a leader and went around acting important and making an ass of himself in bullshit memos and then when everything went wrong he just stood there and wasn't able to do anything. When a really good friend of his was killed, he just stood there, and when someone else was starting to lose it he didn't notice until the ship had already sailed to murderous rampage harbor and instead he just got caught up in some more petty bullshit. It's not anyone else's fault or problem because it wasn't anyone else's fucking responsibility, and that's all there is to it. Probably. Or maybe I just can't stand him and I'd rather have the blame resting squarely on his cartilage nub than anyone else's. I never wanted any of you to die, I really mean that.
...Yeah, this is just getting sad now. Not that it wasn't sad from the beginning. And no, I'm not talking about past and future selves, that's always been such a hilariously pathetic cop out. I know I didn't cause everything, but I didn't stop it. I blundered through every step of the way and accomplished nothing. But don't I feel better now for getting that all off my nub? No, I don't. I really don't. If you sat around listening to this pulsating wave of self-pity vomit, go fuck yourself.
[The phone hangs up with a loud slam.]
((You can call him back. Fair warning, he'll probably be pretty awful to anyone who responds.))
Okay, so we're all sharing. Perfect. I can't avoid it anymore, so why not? I have to say, I can't manage to give two minuscule fucks about most of your problems, so maybe you won't give any fucks for mine, either, and I'm fine with that. Maybe the town making me spill the partially digested contents of my alimentary canal will finally make me hate it here. Everyone's so ready to find a way out, but my entire species is dead aside from a few of us, and there's a good chance rest of us aren't going to survive, and this place is able to bring some of us back. It's not as bad as all of you think, grow the fuck up.
No one ever asked me to be leader. I just pitched a massive shit fit about it like I always do, and no one wanted to deal with it or cared, so here I am. I guess I just wanted people to show me some fucking respect for once, which is some seriously shitty reasoning, but that's how it is. But I thought I did a pretty damn good job. I mean, all of us were basically huge gaping assholes, but we didn't get too off track and we beat the game in good time and everything.
And then it all crumbled into crusty dry turd flakes. We lost everything and then we started to fall apart and...a bunch of us died. Don't ask me how many, I don't know. Maybe all of us. But I blamed everyone for this shit. Mostly the humans, and I made a huge asshole out of myself trying to troll them, but it turned out it wasn't their fault. I could blame some of us for making a big shit show of everything, but I guess I'm too fucking sentimental and tender-hearted to put the blame for our absolute and total failure at the feet of any of them. Because I actually like them. Most of them. Maybe all of them, I don't know.
But I do know who I think screwed everything up for us. I've never exactly been fond of this douchebag. He got saddled with a mutant blood color that put him somewhere below shitclogged load gaper on the hemospectrum and instead of just dealing with it he hid it from everyone and pretended not to care about any of that like typing in stupid gray font and acting like an asshole all the time would make it not matter to anyone else. But then he decided he wanted to feel better about himself, so he insisted on being in charge and being a leader and went around acting important and making an ass of himself in bullshit memos and then when everything went wrong he just stood there and wasn't able to do anything. When a really good friend of his was killed, he just stood there, and when someone else was starting to lose it he didn't notice until the ship had already sailed to murderous rampage harbor and instead he just got caught up in some more petty bullshit. It's not anyone else's fault or problem because it wasn't anyone else's fucking responsibility, and that's all there is to it. Probably. Or maybe I just can't stand him and I'd rather have the blame resting squarely on his cartilage nub than anyone else's. I never wanted any of you to die, I really mean that.
...Yeah, this is just getting sad now. Not that it wasn't sad from the beginning. And no, I'm not talking about past and future selves, that's always been such a hilariously pathetic cop out. I know I didn't cause everything, but I didn't stop it. I blundered through every step of the way and accomplished nothing. But don't I feel better now for getting that all off my nub? No, I don't. I really don't. If you sat around listening to this pulsating wave of self-pity vomit, go fuck yourself.
[The phone hangs up with a loud slam.]
((You can call him back. Fair warning, he'll probably be pretty awful to anyone who responds.))
no subject
[ Except she totally was. ]
no subject
But I'm in a fucking terrible mood right now, and I don't want to take it out on you, because you're one of the few people I actually don't want to seem like a complete scumbag around.
no subject
This is kind of a different situation than your memos, so you don't have to worry about seeming like a scumbag because I want to help you feel better! Which doesn't have to involve any talking at all, we could just do something instead.
1/2
no subject
no subject
[ Any other day she might berate him and let him know he needs to get his head out of the gutter, and she still might, but she just won't be doing it now. Instead, she laughs brightly, shaking her head. ]
I was thinking we could do something way less awkward or weird than that, like watching a movie.
no subject
What kind of movie?
no subject
[ Alright now before this gets any weirder. ]
I don't know, I know human movies are soooo much worse than troll moves but there has to be something that will interest you playing at the movie theater.
no subject
I actually really do like human romance movies, they're just pretty different than what I'm used to and they don't always have everything I want to see. I wouldn't say no to checking one out.
no subject
[ And as she's only at Stage 2, there's nothing to worry about unless someone is really intent on finding out about Karkat's love life. ]
Oh, okay! I bet there's something you'd like that's playing then. We can go right now even!
no subject
If we see anyone I know and I'm about to make an asshole out of myself again, go ahead and punch me unconscious.
no subject
no subject
I should probably find a paper bag to put over my head if I'm going outside after all of that bullshit spew earlier, but I'll only look like a bigger asshole, so let's just go.
no subject
[ And she should know. Jade hooks her arm in his, already dragging him towards the door. ]
no subject
...So, what kind of earth movies do you like, anyway? You're not obsessed with Nicolas Cage, are you?
no subject
[ Now if only they could take all of the action from Die Hard and cross it with the musical styling of The Sound of Music, she'd be a happy girl. ]
I'm sure trolls have action movies, but what about musicals?