♋ PCG 9

[crusthatecean]

[Action; 1338 Benny Road]

[Karkat took his turn with the milk on the first day, to bring Jade back from kill drone state. He's been dealing with the after effects of the nasty poison that was inside ever since.

But today it was his turn again. He had been too sick the day before to prevent Jade from drinking her share, but this evening he prevented that from happening again by just refusing to go to sleep. Once he heard the milk delivery in the morning, he dragged his ass down to the front door to drink the bottle.

His housemates will find him still downstairs, holding the empty bottle of milk. He has the TV turned on to some infomercial for a groundbreaking new blender, and he's watching in fascination and horror.]

[Phone]

[Karkat's voice sounds hoarse and urgent when he picks up the phone to call Mayfield later that day.]

Okay.

Don't look now.

But the horrorterrors are right behind you.

Oh fuck! You unbelievable dumbass, I told you not to look!

[Action; Around Mayfield]

[Shortly after the phone call, Karkat wanders outside for a little bit, not really paying attention to where he's walking. He's carrying a paper towel roll curved in a way that looks vaguely like a sickle, and is swiping it randomly at the air from time to time.]

[Phone; Later]

[Much, much later that night, an extremely tired but lucid sounding Karkat makes a phone call once again.]

Wow. Uh.

So, I'm sure Jade and Gamzee didn't let me make any phone calls or anything earlier, right?

Just making sure about that.

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I did not make out with Gamzee. That's just disgusting. What are you even thinking?

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

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I don't think, that I was thinking, anything like that, at all. Uh, wow.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You're a pretty fucked up person, other Tavros. We're just friends.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Uh, I was not thinking about, make-outs then, and I am definitely not, now, or at least, trying really hard not to, except, can we talk about something else, because this conversation, is going, where I do not feel very comfortable.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Let's talk about your rom situation.

What's going on there with your quadrants, buddy? Obviously you're projecting a lot here so we better deal with these issues.

[1/3]

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

[oh god what THIS WAS NOT THE DIRECTION I WANTED AT ALL]

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

. . . Well, I guess, if you are asking, maybe you could help me, with something?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes. I am here to help.

It's okay to have a crush on Will Smith. It's perfectly normal.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh, uh, okay.

But, I think my question is specifically about, how to tell someone, that you think you might be pretty pale for them? Or, possibly, a tiny bit pink, but I think it might be best, if I did not say that bit, because it would probably, be sort of weird, so yeah.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

That's not a thing. If you're pale for someone, you wouldn't be a little flushed for them. That's the whole fucking point, moron.

Just don't get yourself in a pale situation when that's not how you feel. Will Smith would understand, you know?

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

. . . Can you be, uh, flushed for more than one person, and would Will Smith, understand that?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes. I mean, it's probably not your fault if she started flirting with some asshole and then you met someone else and it all got complicated.

But there's only one right person in the end.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Or she, uh, got pan-scrubbed, and you did not think she was coming back.

[and also rejected you


twice.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes.

But there's an easy solution. Either the first person you fell for is the person for you and the person now is an asshole, or else the first person was a jerk who never appreciated you or just friends with you and the second person is the one for you.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Huh, wow, that is pretty easy, except that I don't think either of them is a jerk, or an asshole, or anything like that?

. . . Maybe, I will just stick to my plan, which is to maybe, ignore the feelings, until they go away.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No.

Never. You can erase her from your memories because you think you'd be holding her back from having a full and happy life. But you'd be making a mistake. Being with you is the only way she could have a full and happy life. You're the troll of her dreams, Tavros.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Oh, heh, that would be pretty nice, to be in dreams with her again, because it was a lot of fun before.

Do you think, maybe, she would like some poetry, but I will make sure it is even better, than the last time I tried?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes. Poetry is perfect.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Cool, yes, poetry is definitely on the, um, menu, of this red buffet.

What else, do humans generally like?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Flowers. Chocolate. Clowns.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

I, uh, can probably do the first two, but I don't think, that giving her Gamzee, would really, be all that effective? Also, I don't really know, how to go about doing that.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

All I know is, human girls go crazy for assholes wearing clown make up! They can't control themselves. They are like disgusting makeout machines.

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Uuuuuh, how is it, that you know that?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Jade and Gamzee are married now. Or whatever the disgusting human practice is. They are married forever.

Can you believe it? Why do they hate me?