crusthatecean: (lucky for me I'm not the only one)
Karkat Vantas ([personal profile] crusthatecean) wrote2011-10-06 11:58 pm

♋ PCG 14

[Action; 1668 Benny Road]

[So, for the past few days, Karkat has been feeling vaguely off; just occasionally sneezing or rubbing his eyes. His troll self doesn't have allergies, so he doesn't really know what's going on, but as a human, he's definitely feeling it.

Finally, he wakes up one morning feeling sick enough that the female human drone doesn't drag him out of bed in the morning but instead calls school forces him to stay in bed. Anyone in the house can probably hear him swearing at her and occasionally trying to escape in the morning before he ultimately just gives up.]


[Phone; Later]

[Spending an entire day sitting around feeling miserable is really frustrating to him. So instead of being sick like a normal person, he spends the entire day drawing up a ridiculously complicated plan, and now he's calling about it. You can definitely hear from his voice that he's under the weather, though.]

Hey. So, considering the high frequency of situations involving dangerous undead hordes, inducements to kill each other, or just general examples of everything not bothering to stop for breaks on the road to catastrophe at all times, it's kind of surprising in a witness the clearest example of the failings of the human race sort of way that there isn't any system in place for what we're supposed to do. We have brand new clueless assholes showing up at least once a month and if they happen to get stuck in the wrong hive and don't know anyone who'll hold their hand through everything, we're saying they're shit out of luck. Oh, yeah, please call in and ask why I use hive instead of house and wonder if I'm a bee, that will be so helpful.

I don't particularly care about anyone clueless and new, but the odds are some of you do, right? And if not, just think that you might get panscrubbed (okay, droned, is that clear enough for you) and then you'll be the asshole with no idea what's going on.

Anyway, what I want is to hear from someone in every house in Mayfield. Let me know who in your sickening fake family unit can actually fight, who is a fucking psychopath we need to avoid at all costs, and whether or not you're willing to take in anyone extra next time everything goes to hell. I'll get the information out there when I have it so maybe it will be useful to someone unlike everything else anyone does around here.

If you call in with attempts to rile me up, observations that my alien culture isn't exactly the same as your own and that is somehow humorous, or anything that isn't on topic, I'm hanging up, so just answer the question.
chastesaw: (A Different Kind Of Lipstick)

[personal profile] chastesaw 2011-10-07 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Hm. Well I cannot say I am particularly familiar with human xenobiology but that does not sound as though it should be normal. Is it uncomfortable?

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, kind of. But otherwise I'm fine, and I don't appreciate getting trapped in my respite block.
chastesaw: (Do I Dazzle You)

[personal profile] chastesaw 2011-10-07 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Well if you manage to evade your human lusus' watchful gaze you are perfectly welcome here.

As long as you expect me to ensure that you are properly caring for yourself as well. But I promise I will not confine you anywhere.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I would, but now my actual lusus is in on it, so I don't think I'm escaping any time soon.
chastesaw: (A Different Kind Of Lipstick)

[personal profile] chastesaw 2011-10-07 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I could provide a distraction of some kind? Thereby allowing you to discreetly escape for any secret rendezvous of your choosing.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I'm okay. I'm not going to be any less useless at your hive, and I don't really want to see your assigned adult human.