crusthatecean: (lucky for me I'm not the only one)
Karkat Vantas ([personal profile] crusthatecean) wrote2011-10-06 11:58 pm

♋ PCG 14

[Action; 1668 Benny Road]

[So, for the past few days, Karkat has been feeling vaguely off; just occasionally sneezing or rubbing his eyes. His troll self doesn't have allergies, so he doesn't really know what's going on, but as a human, he's definitely feeling it.

Finally, he wakes up one morning feeling sick enough that the female human drone doesn't drag him out of bed in the morning but instead calls school forces him to stay in bed. Anyone in the house can probably hear him swearing at her and occasionally trying to escape in the morning before he ultimately just gives up.]


[Phone; Later]

[Spending an entire day sitting around feeling miserable is really frustrating to him. So instead of being sick like a normal person, he spends the entire day drawing up a ridiculously complicated plan, and now he's calling about it. You can definitely hear from his voice that he's under the weather, though.]

Hey. So, considering the high frequency of situations involving dangerous undead hordes, inducements to kill each other, or just general examples of everything not bothering to stop for breaks on the road to catastrophe at all times, it's kind of surprising in a witness the clearest example of the failings of the human race sort of way that there isn't any system in place for what we're supposed to do. We have brand new clueless assholes showing up at least once a month and if they happen to get stuck in the wrong hive and don't know anyone who'll hold their hand through everything, we're saying they're shit out of luck. Oh, yeah, please call in and ask why I use hive instead of house and wonder if I'm a bee, that will be so helpful.

I don't particularly care about anyone clueless and new, but the odds are some of you do, right? And if not, just think that you might get panscrubbed (okay, droned, is that clear enough for you) and then you'll be the asshole with no idea what's going on.

Anyway, what I want is to hear from someone in every house in Mayfield. Let me know who in your sickening fake family unit can actually fight, who is a fucking psychopath we need to avoid at all costs, and whether or not you're willing to take in anyone extra next time everything goes to hell. I'll get the information out there when I have it so maybe it will be useful to someone unlike everything else anyone does around here.

If you call in with attempts to rile me up, observations that my alien culture isn't exactly the same as your own and that is somehow humorous, or anything that isn't on topic, I'm hanging up, so just answer the question.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Yamame can fight! Yamame can fight! I can probably beat you up, too!

Hehehehe!

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Um...728 Anderson!

Oh, wait! I remember your voice! You were...um...

Fuckass-san! Are you trying to be helpful?

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
No, I'm trying to put you down on the psychopath list.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Yamame is not a saiikopath!

...What's a saiikopath?

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
It means you're crazy and people shouldn't have to be subjected to you.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
That's rude, fuckass-san! [Despite what she said, she's giggling anyway.] If you aren't careful I'm gonna getcha!

So how come you're asking everyone who can fight and stuff?

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Because next time the waste hits the whirling device, we'll have a plan in place.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Ohhh, okay!

Yamame will help! Just tell me what I have to do!

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course I can! I'm a Youkai, after all.

Yamame even almost beat up the silly witch girl one time! Do you want me to show you?

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really. But if you can take anyone into your hive during an emergency, it might help.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
Yamame could do that too! Yamame's dad and mom are kind of weird but I bet they wouldn't mind helping people when things go wrong!

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
They're not bad weird! They're just kinda quiet!

But they're nice to Yamame!

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, then fine. I'll put your house down on my list, but I'll probably regret it.

[identity profile] thug-disease.livejournal.com 2011-10-09 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Probably!

Yamame will do a good job though, I promise!