crusthatecean: (lucky for me I'm not the only one)
Karkat Vantas ([personal profile] crusthatecean) wrote2011-10-06 11:58 pm

♋ PCG 14

[Action; 1668 Benny Road]

[So, for the past few days, Karkat has been feeling vaguely off; just occasionally sneezing or rubbing his eyes. His troll self doesn't have allergies, so he doesn't really know what's going on, but as a human, he's definitely feeling it.

Finally, he wakes up one morning feeling sick enough that the female human drone doesn't drag him out of bed in the morning but instead calls school forces him to stay in bed. Anyone in the house can probably hear him swearing at her and occasionally trying to escape in the morning before he ultimately just gives up.]


[Phone; Later]

[Spending an entire day sitting around feeling miserable is really frustrating to him. So instead of being sick like a normal person, he spends the entire day drawing up a ridiculously complicated plan, and now he's calling about it. You can definitely hear from his voice that he's under the weather, though.]

Hey. So, considering the high frequency of situations involving dangerous undead hordes, inducements to kill each other, or just general examples of everything not bothering to stop for breaks on the road to catastrophe at all times, it's kind of surprising in a witness the clearest example of the failings of the human race sort of way that there isn't any system in place for what we're supposed to do. We have brand new clueless assholes showing up at least once a month and if they happen to get stuck in the wrong hive and don't know anyone who'll hold their hand through everything, we're saying they're shit out of luck. Oh, yeah, please call in and ask why I use hive instead of house and wonder if I'm a bee, that will be so helpful.

I don't particularly care about anyone clueless and new, but the odds are some of you do, right? And if not, just think that you might get panscrubbed (okay, droned, is that clear enough for you) and then you'll be the asshole with no idea what's going on.

Anyway, what I want is to hear from someone in every house in Mayfield. Let me know who in your sickening fake family unit can actually fight, who is a fucking psychopath we need to avoid at all costs, and whether or not you're willing to take in anyone extra next time everything goes to hell. I'll get the information out there when I have it so maybe it will be useful to someone unlike everything else anyone does around here.

If you call in with attempts to rile me up, observations that my alien culture isn't exactly the same as your own and that is somehow humorous, or anything that isn't on topic, I'm hanging up, so just answer the question.
worstvikingever: (bffs)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-07 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Can't imagine why.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
What's that supposed to mean?
worstvikingever: (you really would?)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-07 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh... lighthearted sarcasm? You tend to react pretty strongly to stuff and people probably think it's funny, so they keep doing it. But you probably knew that.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I know. But maybe I wouldn't have to react strongly if everyone just shut up for once. It's hard to get anything done when you're treated like a constant joke.
worstvikingever: (no it's true I failed)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-07 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
...yeah, I know what that's like.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-07 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Really?

Well, I know I bring it on myself.
worstvikingever: (I'm just... tired of this.)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-07 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I was basically the joke of my entire village for my whole life. That changed recently, but not without... a lot of effort.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[He doesn't have much to say about that, but he knows what it feels like to be desperate to be taken seriously.]

Well, I don't really see anything amusing about you. Maybe you were really fucking awful before or something, though, I don't know.
worstvikingever: (sigh. forever.)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-08 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
It was mostly that in a village full of big strong people who beat the crap out of dragons with axes and swords and stuff, I was the scrawny one who never did anything right and could barely lift a weapon. Everyone thought I was a failure and would be one for the rest of my life.

I did too, actually.

But it's kind of a long story, so I won't bother with it if you don't want to hear it.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
I don't need to know your life story to believe you. It's your business, you have nothing to prove to me.

[It's not that he's uninterested; in fact, he can relate to a lot of that feeling. But he also doesn't really open up to strangers well.]
worstvikingever: (welp)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-08 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
[It's not that Hiccup doesn't like telling the story or anything, it's just that he always gets so weirded out by how impressed people are after he tells it. Sure, what he did was, in fact, very impressive, but it's weird when people react like that. Anyway.]

Yeah, I figured.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
Your business is your business, I'm not planning on prying. But it's good to know we can count on your help.
worstvikingever: (you really would?)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-08 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, no problem.

[identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com 2011-10-08 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
All right. I'll talk to you later, then.
worstvikingever: (wait what)

[personal profile] worstvikingever 2011-10-08 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
Sure. Later.

[HANGING UP yay for awkward conversations]