Karkat Vantas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
crusthatecean) wrote2011-05-14 08:19 am
crusthatecean) wrote2011-05-14 08:19 am
♋ PCG 1
[Accidental Phone Call | Action for 1338 Benny Road]
[When Karkat wakes up at 1338 Benny Road, his first thought is what a nice, relaxing sleep he just had. His second thought is remembering that he forbade everyone from sleeping, and nobody better be a wiseass about this.
His third thought involves him catching his reflection in the mirror in his room. Seconds later, the house will shake from the sound of him slamming open his door and shouting at no one in particular, and just happening to knock the phone off the hook mid-rant.]
--better be one fucking good explanation for this shitpile of a situation, and that explanation better be 'Karkat, you're definitely not a giant pink nubless fleshpile now, sorry for the trouble,' got it? Okay, point me in the direction of those humans in the pictures or whoever else is responsible. They better open wide, because I've got pailfuls of pure, festering hate to...great, and now this fucking thing came off the--
[There's a crashing sound and the click of a phone hanging up.]
[Later; Phone Call]
[A little bit later and a lot calmer, Karkat will make a phone call. His voice sounds measured, as though it's barely suppressing another burst of anger.]
...So. Nice human town you have here.
How do I leave?
[When Karkat wakes up at 1338 Benny Road, his first thought is what a nice, relaxing sleep he just had. His second thought is remembering that he forbade everyone from sleeping, and nobody better be a wiseass about this.
His third thought involves him catching his reflection in the mirror in his room. Seconds later, the house will shake from the sound of him slamming open his door and shouting at no one in particular, and just happening to knock the phone off the hook mid-rant.]
--better be one fucking good explanation for this shitpile of a situation, and that explanation better be 'Karkat, you're definitely not a giant pink nubless fleshpile now, sorry for the trouble,' got it? Okay, point me in the direction of those humans in the pictures or whoever else is responsible. They better open wide, because I've got pailfuls of pure, festering hate to...great, and now this fucking thing came off the--
[There's a crashing sound and the click of a phone hanging up.]
[Later; Phone Call]
[A little bit later and a lot calmer, Karkat will make a phone call. His voice sounds measured, as though it's barely suppressing another burst of anger.]
...So. Nice human town you have here.
How do I leave?
no subject
That's not the point! This life is not the life a Dark Hero should be living! I should be conquering the Netheruniverse with an iron fist, not set to play house with some dumb Valkyrie.
Not to mention my neighbor is a goddamned love freak! It's HELL man, PURE AND TOTAL HELL.
no subject
Look, I can't say I can even pretend to understand human relationships, but if you've really found yourself a genuine kismesis, don't sell that short. That kind of hate only comes around once a lifetime, and throwing that away because you think you should be living life as a dark hero or whatever the fuck is just pants-wettingly retarded.
no subject
no subject
I don't know what kind of set up you have, but a proper romance doesn't merely involve what ever hand-holding bucket of mush that your human redrom involves. You need to fill your other quadrants, too, and a real black rom relationship is pretty fucking important! To put it in simple terms for your slow moving secondhand thinkpan, a kismesis is that person you hate in a special way. You hate them more completely than anyone else, and they feel the same crushing and specific hate all just for you. And if you can't find that, the consequences are more than just getting culled when the imperial drone comes knocking. You need both types of romance if you ever even hope to want to find yourself in balance.
Was that dumbed down enough for you, or do you need me to oversimplify things even more than that?
no subject
There's several people that could fill that role in my life, I think! Between the Demon Dog King and that Valkyire, my heart is filled with nothing but hate and evil intentions!
Wait... does a kismesis often call those they hate their henchman?
no subject
Look, if you spread your hate around too easily, then it's worthless. No one will take you seriously as a rival if your standards are that low.
no subject
I... I knew that! The Demon Dog King is my one true rival! If I defeat him, then maybe I shall finally get the respect I deserve from my peers! Maybe Riz will finally stop calling me her henchman! Even getting my spinoff game would not be far out of reach if I defeated him!
no subject
And there we go. The path of your pathetic human life has been irrevocably altered for the better. Thank you, Karkat, for deeming to waste your time on this.