♋ PCG 1

[crusthatecean]

[Accidental Phone Call | Action for 1338 Benny Road]

[When Karkat wakes up at 1338 Benny Road, his first thought is what a nice, relaxing sleep he just had. His second thought is remembering that he forbade everyone from sleeping, and nobody better be a wiseass about this.

His third thought involves him catching his reflection in the mirror in his room. Seconds later, the house will shake from the sound of him slamming open his door and shouting at no one in particular, and just happening to knock the phone off the hook mid-rant.]

--better be one fucking good explanation for this shitpile of a situation, and that explanation better be 'Karkat, you're definitely not a giant pink nubless fleshpile now, sorry for the trouble,' got it? Okay, point me in the direction of those humans in the pictures or whoever else is responsible. They better open wide, because I've got pailfuls of pure, festering hate to...great, and now this fucking thing came off the--

[There's a crashing sound and the click of a phone hanging up.]

[Later; Phone Call]

[A little bit later and a lot calmer, Karkat will make a phone call. His voice sounds measured, as though it's barely suppressing another burst of anger.]

...So. Nice human town you have here.

How do I leave?

Comments

Phone; Later

[gauntlethades.livejournal.com]

...Simple, you don't.

Re: Phone; Later

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I'm asking politely, fuckass, but I'm not planning on sticking around for this bullshit.

later phone

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

If it were that easy I think we would all be rushing out the proverbial magic door, Mr. Vantas.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know my name and I have no idea who you are! Wow, I'm really impressed.

[facefear.livejournal.com]

[THE CRASHING AND YELLING DSFHSEFH. Hanako is a little terrified, because someone this angry and loud definitely wasn't in the house when she went to bed yesterday. She's sort of hiding around a corner, trying not to be noticed as she tries to figure out what to do.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He'll turn the corner looking for someone to blame and he'll happen to see her hiding there.]

Found you, fuckass! It's so obvious you're the one behind all this shit, so start explaining!

Phone

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Okay, so listen closely. Cause I know how to leave.

First, what street are you on? I need to know that so I can give you directions.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

How the fuck should I know?

[made-this-town.livejournal.com]

[dat voice]

Well look who decided to show.

Was wonderin' when you'd join the rest of your little grey pals here.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You!

[Well, at least it's obviously the Noir he knew, but it's still hard to ignore what happened with the other one.]

All right, I've had my 100% daily value of cryptic bullshit, so explain what you mean.

[wolf-faerie.livejournal.com]

[Oh, she recognizes that voice...even though she never got his name when he was here before.]

Not when you want to.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

What's that supposed to mean?

Phone

[timetables.livejournal.com]

In a human way.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Gee, thanks for the advice. Would you mind maybe being a little vaguer and less helpful?

[phone]

[herooflove.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're the boy from before. You shouldn't talk like that over the phone. What if a child heard you say those words?

[totally not answering how to leave...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Why should I care if some human child gets an earful?

Also, I have no idea what you're talking about, I don't think I know you.

[moemoetentacles.livejournal.com]

It's the angry guy again!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I bet nobody else who wakes up here with their dignity stolen ever gets angry at anyone about it!

[roadroller]

Hey, Karkat! You won't be a pink, um, nubless fleshblob for too long, so hang in there!

... Best I could do without lying. But seriously, all the other trolls go back to normal if they stick it out long enough. Don't terrorize your fake family, ok? ♪

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, seriously, do I even know all you people?

Jegus, I do not have time for all of this bullshit.

[phone]

[redorblueshot.livejournal.com]

Through the wormhole, silly.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Wow, every other person I've talked to has no idea how to get out of this fucking town, and along comes you, being incredibly helpful and in no way just trying to fuck with me! Great!

[seespast.livejournal.com]

[ SUDDENLY, there is a knock on the door. Lilly will come in a second later with a vaguely confused, and slightly tired and exasperated kind of expression on her face. ]

Please excuse me. Is everything alright?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No, everything is not all right!

[Giving her a good look over.]

Okay, you humans pretty much all look the same, but I'm pretty sure that's you in the picture. Start explaining this fucked up situation ten seconds ago, or we're about to have an even bigger problem.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the worthless answer. I'm actually being 100% sincere. No point in beating around the bush with that one.

Phone; later

[ahogauge.livejournal.com]

If you think someone had a way out of here, Do you think they'd stick around in this hellhole?

Re: Phone; later

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

How am I supposed to know? Looks like a human paradise to me.

Later

[justice-smells.livejournal.com]

It is a deep art. You probably wouldn't be able to--oh fuck it, I'm not in the mood for this. Who do you think you are, disappearing and then just waltzing back in like some grublicking jackass?

Re: Later

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...Terezi?

Fuck. I have no idea what shithive concept you're on about this time, you know.

later phone

[im-the-cute-one.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. My town is nice, isn't it?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Lucy Smith?

later phone

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Karkat, uh, is that you, also please, don't hang up, this time, because if that is you, that is a good thing, except, for the not so good thing, of you not being able to leave, I don't think.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Tavros.

Let's get one thing straight. I don't want to hear one moronic detail of what my previous self did here.

[conaradia.livejournal.com]

Ugh, you're back? And I was just getting used to not hearing your voice every time I pick up the fucking audio hook.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. I'm glad you called, there wasn't enough shithive crazy in this situation.

Later phone

[cantwhinnyemall.livejournal.com]

To my great regret I am no closer to procuring this information than I was at my time of ingress.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

And Equius is here! Oh, great, I'll stop panicking now, it's all under control!