♋ PCG 1

[crusthatecean]

[Accidental Phone Call | Action for 1338 Benny Road]

[When Karkat wakes up at 1338 Benny Road, his first thought is what a nice, relaxing sleep he just had. His second thought is remembering that he forbade everyone from sleeping, and nobody better be a wiseass about this.

His third thought involves him catching his reflection in the mirror in his room. Seconds later, the house will shake from the sound of him slamming open his door and shouting at no one in particular, and just happening to knock the phone off the hook mid-rant.]

--better be one fucking good explanation for this shitpile of a situation, and that explanation better be 'Karkat, you're definitely not a giant pink nubless fleshpile now, sorry for the trouble,' got it? Okay, point me in the direction of those humans in the pictures or whoever else is responsible. They better open wide, because I've got pailfuls of pure, festering hate to...great, and now this fucking thing came off the--

[There's a crashing sound and the click of a phone hanging up.]

[Later; Phone Call]

[A little bit later and a lot calmer, Karkat will make a phone call. His voice sounds measured, as though it's barely suppressing another burst of anger.]

...So. Nice human town you have here.

How do I leave?

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Hey fuckass, ever heard of different cultures? Maybe things aren't exactly the same where I'm from!

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, alright, whatever stupid. Now it's getting to the point where I don't want to tell you how to get out.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...Fine! I'll go find the fucking street sign if it makes you happy!

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Make it quick. Kinda inconsiderate you're making the person trying to help you wait.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Grumbling on the other end, and then quiet for a few minutes]

Apparently I'm on Benny Road.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Then here's what you need to do. First, you need to go back to the street sign, walk around it once counter-clockwise, and thenturn around and start walking straight. You dot that first part?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...

I'm starting to get the feeling you're fucking with me here.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Well that's paranoid of you. Why would I do that? I don't even friggin' know you, so what do I have to gain? I'd have to be a massive toolbag to do that.

So are you going to keep listening, or not?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I'm listening, massive toolbag. Do a counterclockwise dance through the streets and then I'll be out of here, you say?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

That's just part of it. After you do that, walk straight. And keep walking straight til you hit the park, at which point you're going to turn-

[And Pokey will just go on to give Karkat the most obtuse way to head back to Benny Road that he can, though he doesn't mention that as the destination.]

Got that?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'll be sure to go ahead and do that right about never.

There's a special way I'll show my gratitude for your help. Go outside, spin around three times, and then go fuck yourself, and you'll get a special present from me to you.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Hey, you're not as stupid as you sound after all!

Naw, we're stuck here. There has to be a way out, but no one's found it yet. And trying to leave town will just cause the town to circle back around on itself.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah, shitstain. If you're going to try to troll me, you're going to have to do a lot better than that one.

Got it, and this time I believe you if only because it's what everyone else has been saying.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah? Anyone else tell you about how they fling crap at us about once every month or so?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Not exactly.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah get ready for that. Probably noticed how they've taken everything that makes you you away, right? Well, they give it back in the mail, one piece at a time, each month.

Thing is, we kinda have to go through some kind of stupid trial to get it that the town ends up throwing at us. It isn't every month, usually on holidays, but sometimes they just happen at random too. Some of them are pretty harmless.

Others....hope you have a high pain tolerance.