crusthatecean | ♋ PCG 9

[Action; 1338 Benny Road]

[Karkat took his turn with the milk on the first day, to bring Jade back from kill drone state. He's been dealing with the after effects of the nasty poison that was inside ever since.

But today it was his turn again. He had been too sick the day before to prevent Jade from drinking her share, but this evening he prevented that from happening again by just refusing to go to sleep. Once he heard the milk delivery in the morning, he dragged his ass down to the front door to drink the bottle.

His housemates will find him still downstairs, holding the empty bottle of milk. He has the TV turned on to some infomercial for a groundbreaking new blender, and he's watching in fascination and horror.]

[Phone]

[Karkat's voice sounds hoarse and urgent when he picks up the phone to call Mayfield later that day.]

Okay.

Don't look now.

But the horrorterrors are right behind you.

Oh fuck! You unbelievable dumbass, I told you not to look!

[Action; Around Mayfield]

[Shortly after the phone call, Karkat wanders outside for a little bit, not really paying attention to where he's walking. He's carrying a paper towel roll curved in a way that looks vaguely like a sickle, and is swiping it randomly at the air from time to time.]

[Phone; Later]

[Much, much later that night, an extremely tired but lucid sounding Karkat makes a phone call once again.]

Wow. Uh.

So, I'm sure Jade and Gamzee didn't let me make any phone calls or anything earlier, right?

Just making sure about that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wow, okay, everyone seems to be, remembering, these horrible moments today, but okay, yeah, don't you remember the bit after, where, uh, I got the robolegs, which were definitely cool, and also useful, in the ability to sit?

Also, I could still sit, before, you know.

Yeah, I remember that.

But that was before Tavros was devoured by horrorterrors.

Uh, I am pretty sure that I don't remember that bit, but maybe it happened, to the Other Tavros that Terezi said, she knew.

There's another Tavros?

Well, there has to be, right, because I was not devoured by horrorterrors, or at least I don't think so, because that seems like something, I would remember, but if you say Tavros, was devoured by horrorterrors, then you are probably right, because you tend to be right about things?

Oh.

Well, that makes sense. Poor other Tavros.

I miss him.

He seemed like he was the, uh, better Tavros.

Why?

[yes tavros lets have a talk about feelings with drugged out karkat that seems like a great fucking idea]

He seemed to know, how to deal with Vriska, and could talk to Jade, and I'm not really sure what he was doing, when he was eaten by horrorterrors, but I bet it was something, at least sort of brave.

[No Tavros he will still give you some great advice, okay.]

What kind of retarded attitude is that? Listen, other Tavros isn't better than you. He might even be worse than you!

Think about it. Think about all of your most disgusting flaws, the ones you can barely stand to think about. This guy has the gall to have all of them. And he's walking around with all these horrible failings to his name and he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't give a shit, Tavros! No one has ever told him just how awful he is! Can you believe that?

And you're telling me you're okay with it? You're just going to let that arrogant clueless douche think he's the better Tavros? Fuck no! At least you know how much of an asshole you are! That's more than we can say about that shitsmear on the bowl of the temporal load gaper.

[wow that guy sounds like a complete tool sure am glad im not him]

You really think so?

...What were we talking about?

. . . Uh, Karkat, did you maybe get into, anything of Gamzee's, by accident?

I did not make out with Gamzee. That's just disgusting. What are you even thinking?

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I don't think, that I was thinking, anything like that, at all. Uh, wow.

You're a pretty fucked up person, other Tavros. We're just friends.

Uh, I was not thinking about, make-outs then, and I am definitely not, now, or at least, trying really hard not to, except, can we talk about something else, because this conversation, is going, where I do not feel very comfortable.

Let's talk about your rom situation.

What's going on there with your quadrants, buddy? Obviously you're projecting a lot here so we better deal with these issues.

[oh god what THIS WAS NOT THE DIRECTION I WANTED AT ALL]

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

. . . Well, I guess, if you are asking, maybe you could help me, with something?

Yes. I am here to help.

It's okay to have a crush on Will Smith. It's perfectly normal.

Uh-huh, uh, okay.

But, I think my question is specifically about, how to tell someone, that you think you might be pretty pale for them? Or, possibly, a tiny bit pink, but I think it might be best, if I did not say that bit, because it would probably, be sort of weird, so yeah.

That's not a thing. If you're pale for someone, you wouldn't be a little flushed for them. That's the whole fucking point, moron.

Just don't get yourself in a pale situation when that's not how you feel. Will Smith would understand, you know?