crusthatecean | ♋ PCG 16

♋ PCG 16

[Action]

[Well, someone is sure in a good mood today! Karkat is going about doing his morning chores and heading off to school smiling and whistling.

Wait, what?

Something is definitely not right.]

[Action; Later]

[Out on the lawn of 1338 Benny Road, Karkat is helpfully whistling and doing the lawnmowing.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, another Karkat runs up to him and punches him in the face.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You would fuck up. You wouldn't be better.

[He wrenches his arm back. It hurts but it isn't bad yet. Pod Karkat has him caught by an arm so he takes that arm and bites down, hard and deep enough to draw blood.]

[Pod Karkat doesn't appear to be in pain, but he lets go of the arm and waits for Karkat to stop biting him. Once his arm is free, he takes the small amount of blood that's accumulated on his wrist and smears it on Karkat's shirt.]

[He swings a punch at Pod Karkat's jaw.]

It's not selfish to not want them to turn out to be slimy abominations like you. You're like the sock the universe uses when it rubs one off. You're like steaming liquified turd dripping down a musclebeast's ass.

I hate you so much. I just...

[Before Pod Karkat can react, he grabs his face in his hands and bites down hard on his lips.]

[ okay I'm saying this is before she gets podded somehow shhhhh.

and now what.

what.

w h a t.

what is this this.

she almost ollies right outy there, but if she's technically supposed to auspitize here then uh- maybe she should say something. ]

What are you doing?

[And look who's popping in behind her!]

Karkat! What's going on I heard yelling! Well, more than usual and-

[The fuck is all this.]

Oh, blimey, teenagers.

[We'll just assume that this thread takes place after Gamzee's been unpodded and stuffed enough sopor into his doppleganger to stash him away somewhere.

Anyway, curious at all the noise, he also wanders into the hallway.]

You okay, best friend? What's all the -- [freezes as he takes in this sight]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[having thrown her podself into a closet or something, a still-goo-covered Terezi comes bounding into the hallway.]

Karkat?

[she.............

does not notice anything odd at all. what did you expect. she can't see shit. she stands there expectantly, completely unaware of the selfhatemakeouts.]

[And Pod Karkat immediately shoves Karkat off him!]

[Looking up from getting hate rejected by his pod doppleganger and

Seeing everyone staring at him and

just wipes the blood off his lips.]

[ well this is awkward for everyone isn't it. ]

Should we uh- leave you alone.

Yes, alone. Alone is good for uh... alone time... sort of personal... self things.

[Coughs.]

...Remember to be safe.

[Gamzee is definitely not one to laugh at people ever, but this whole situation has him choking down a few wild giggles.]

Congrats, bro! I knew you'd find that special motherfucker what you can spend the rest of your sweeps in hate with. Kinda a little motherfuckin' weird, but whatever, I ain't gonna get my judge on. Long as you're happy, yeah? [means all of this completely sincerely....]

Wait, what? Who's here? What's going on? Jade? Gamzee? ...Doctor?

[BLIND GIRL IS SO CONFUSED.

oh... oh wait she's starting to sniff out the situation.]

[So much humiliation...it's taking a little bit, but he's finally snapping out of it and shoving a hand over pod Karkat's mouth.]

It's not fucking like that!

Haven't any of you complete fucking assholes every heard of knocking?

[To go into the hallway...]

[ Jade pats Terezi's arm. There there, blind girl. ]

I think Karkat was getting in a fight with himself... a tongue fight.

[ Thank you for that eloquent explanation Jade. ]

Hello, Terezi! Nice to see you.

And yes, I do believe we walked in on something rather private.

...New rule everyone! Any yelling heard means knocking before entering.

[looks around him confusedly] But there's no door here to knock.

And if ain't like that... [trails off and stares at Karkat suspiciously] Bro, you ain't thinking of cheating on Terezi, are you? That's seriously motherfuckin' low.

[come on dude, she's right there]

[Terezi makes a strangled sound.] Karkat, you are so dislusting! I told you so! I called it and you denied it but I knew it!

[she huffs. no, it's not what Gamzee said that bothers her. it's that Karkat is engaging in hatemakeouts with himself AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY...]

Everyone shut up! I know! And there was no tongue, Jade. And Doctor you do not fucking make the rules in this house. But there is officially now a knocking rule anyway.

Fine, things got out of control and there was a brief caliginous moment but I really don't feel that way about him.

Are you all happy? Are you all feeling satisfied by my complete and utter humiliation or should I continue?

First of all, knocking is already a rule, [ that she herself only follows half the time. ] second of all, we can't even knock because you were kissing yourself in the middle of the hallway, and third of all yes I guess so.

Fine, steal my brilliant ideas. I'll take a hit for the household.

[Looks extremely sulky.]

Also, Karkat, don't cheat on girls. That's rude and makes them angry. You're going to end up slapped and with a ruined hat.

Actually, don't cheat on boys either. It's rude all around.

Edited 2011-10-26 04:55 (UTC)

[slowly points at the angry yelling Karkat]

So that's the real one, yeah? [the one who got his hate advances rejected...oh....

paps Karkat on the shoulder comfortingly.] It's okay, best friend, don't let this get you down. You'll fall in true black with someone who hates you back just as motherfuckin' much one day, I believe in a miracle.

[good idea, Doctor!

she goes to slap Karkat.

and misses. maybe she winds up hitting Jade or Gamzee or the Doctor or the wall. oh well. BLIND GIRL CAN'T BE ~~TAMED~~ BLAMED]

It's not cheating, it was caliginous.

[Shrugging Gamzee off.]

Ugh, I don't need to be interrogated on momentary poor decisions. Everyone just fuck off.

[ nope Jade is not getting slapped that can hit the Doctor or Gamzee. ]

Yeah, what Gamzee said. We all believe in you!

♋ PCG 16

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