♋ PCG 1

[crusthatecean]

[Accidental Phone Call | Action for 1338 Benny Road]

[When Karkat wakes up at 1338 Benny Road, his first thought is what a nice, relaxing sleep he just had. His second thought is remembering that he forbade everyone from sleeping, and nobody better be a wiseass about this.

His third thought involves him catching his reflection in the mirror in his room. Seconds later, the house will shake from the sound of him slamming open his door and shouting at no one in particular, and just happening to knock the phone off the hook mid-rant.]

--better be one fucking good explanation for this shitpile of a situation, and that explanation better be 'Karkat, you're definitely not a giant pink nubless fleshpile now, sorry for the trouble,' got it? Okay, point me in the direction of those humans in the pictures or whoever else is responsible. They better open wide, because I've got pailfuls of pure, festering hate to...great, and now this fucking thing came off the--

[There's a crashing sound and the click of a phone hanging up.]

[Later; Phone Call]

[A little bit later and a lot calmer, Karkat will make a phone call. His voice sounds measured, as though it's barely suppressing another burst of anger.]

...So. Nice human town you have here.

How do I leave?

Comments

later phone

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

If it were that easy I think we would all be rushing out the proverbial magic door, Mr. Vantas.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know my name and I have no idea who you are! Wow, I'm really impressed.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

I know many things that you don't. It's simply a matter of my nature. In any case, welcome to Mayfield. You're likely a human right now, but that will change as time permits it, from what I have been told.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

How much time.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Undetermined. [Without his omnipotence he can't calculate the next cycle of returns that he read about.] If what I was told is to be true, maybe in the next month or two.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Fuck, are you serious?

No. Not acceptable. What's the point of all this bullshit?

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

To trap and hold us against our will. It's frustrating, but you'll need to stay calm and rational.

[Because one of them needs to be.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're right! Being angry and bewildered about this situation was such an irrational response! Pardon me while I calm down about this. Why, I'm positively shitting wildflowers over this whole rational situation!

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear. [Yeah he knows it's sarcasm, but he doesn't care to deal with Karkat's amazing mannerisms.] I don't how many from your group are here, but I have had the pleasure of meeting Vriska Serket at the very least.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, great. Glad to hear I won't be trapped in this place with an insane sociopath or anything.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

It isn't something I'm particularly glad about either. [He pretty much blew up her arm and her vision eight fold, so.] I'm positive she and you are not the only two, so keep a look out for the other ten. With any luck they may just show up one moment like you.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, with any luck. Sure want to see all those fresh faces again.

Okay, so not that I care, but who are you?

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

I have no name, but you may know he as "the joker who types in white". Ring any bells?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh. That douchebag.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

The manners of you young ones are as charming as ever.

Oh and good work keeping an eye on the bodies. [Except for the part where you didn't keep an eye on the bodies.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Hah! Just goes to show just how big of a fuck I should give about all the super mysterious information you know, because nothing fucking happened with the bodies.

So maybe next time you get in touch, maybe take a polite little peek to see if I have any other slightly fucking urgent situations on my plate at the moment, how about that?

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

I would tell you that you will be fine from the dire matter of avoiding death from your former so-called 'best friend', but you wouldn't trust me on the matter. Nor would you remember this conversation in the future. That's fine. You are of no concern to me anymore. My goals are complete and soon the final piece will be placed.

Not that you understand anything I'm saying.

Have you met your family here yet?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Great, so I'll die some other way.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

The 'family' that is living in the same residence as you. There should be three other members, including some drones.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh. There are some humans here, but I wasn't sure what they were for.

What do they do?

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

They share a house with you. Or a 'hive' if you would. All of them are trapped here like you and, as a friendly suggestion, you should try and get along with them on some level. That means screaming as loud as you can and pretending you don't really care of course.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I'm not afraid of them. They're just some humans girls.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

Ms. Jade Harley gives you a hard time and she's just some human girl.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but the thing about that is, it isn't any of your fucking business.

[cueballer.livejournal.com]

It really is actually, as hard as it may be to believe.