♋ PCG 5

[crusthatecean]

[Audio Hook; Filtered from Gamzee]

Okay. Don't go around getting cute or mentioning any hypothetical audio hook arguments anyone has recently had with themselves that may or may not have been an embarrassment to witness. This is important shit, so stuff a wad down your cacophonous ignorance tubes for at long as you can manage it and listen, because this one is a question for the humans.

I really need to know. When your most ignorant shit-sponged delinquents want to completely fuck up their thinkpans, what sorts of substances to they ingest to accomplish this? And where do they find it? Hypothetically, what is the best possible way for an immature human being to get completely fucked up to the point of spending hours sitting around wondering how fucking magnetism is accomplished?

It's not for me. It's for a...friend.

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I know what it sounds like.

But he's been like this the entire time I've known him. And then he stopped. And then he killed at least two of us, possibly even more. I don't really know about the state of human medicine, but I don't think they have a cure for murderous psychopath.

[echidna]

Are we talking about Gamzee?

[ It's another one of those not so wild guesses. ]

Are you sure there isn't something else you could try first? I mean, I don't actually know anything about troll biology so if you think it's the right thing to do; I can try to help.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah. The stupid goofy clown asshole in our house.

The thing is...okay. I realize this sounds stupid to you, and let me be on record that I don't give a shit about any of this either. But do you know how our blood works?

There are differences. For the most part it's a bunch of bullshit that some assholes are obsessed with when no one with a functioning thinkpan should care, but some of the things about it seem to be kind of true. High bloods are known for taking an acrobatic fucking pirouette into the deep end sometimes, and it turns out he's probably the poster fuckass for that.

I don't actually know if there's anything else to do about it. I just know that when he's eating the slime, he's actually, and never tell anyone I said this about him, a pretty all right guy. And I'd rather not see him the other way again.

[echidna]

Oh, wow...

[ Jade takes a seat while he speaks, listening intently. It's a lot to take in, and she might never really "get it", but she understands the gist of this brief lecture. ]

I think I understand. [ Mostly, anyway. ] He's okay for right now though, right? Since he's a human?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Assuming that really is the reason, and he's not just a total shithead.

I don't know for sure, though.

[echidna]

Well he seems pretty, um, not normal really but not murderous or psychotic?

But uh, there are human drugs that would probably do what you want, I just don't know how we would even get them here.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Are muffins a type of human drug? Someone said they were, but she's also completed retarded, so I have no idea.

Whatever. If he keeps acting how he's acting now, he's fine. The difference is really obvious. And I have no idea if he'll even care about humans, although considering human blood color is the lowest blood even possible for us, he might. If he starts acting off, you might want to watch out anyway.

[echidna]

I don't think you could really call muffins a drug, not by themselves. It sounds like someone was messing with you!

Okay, I guess we'll just keep a close eye on him from now? At least it will be easy when he lives in the same house. Since we're sort of family now, it's our job!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hope you realize I don't at all see why that should be true.

But fine, it'll be good to have multiple eyes on this issue.

[echidna]

I guess it's just a human thing! It's one of the nice things about humans though, so hopefully you'll learn to like it.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Stranger fucking bullshit has happened. But not much.

[echidna]

I think secretly you already like it!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, are you reading my secret thoughts now? Go ahead, be my guest. Let me know if you find any other big surprises.

[echidna]

No, I'm just taking a guess actually. But if you want me to try and read your secret thoughts, I could try!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, go ahead. It should be good for a laugh.

[echidna]

Hmm, let's see!

[ And she sort of stares for at him for a few long moments, quite possibly honestly trying to tap into any mind reading abilities she may have. The staring ends abruptly with her laughter. ]

I think you're resisting my attempts to read your mind!