♋ PCG 16

[crusthatecean]

[Action]

[Well, someone is sure in a good mood today! Karkat is going about doing his morning chores and heading off to school smiling and whistling.

Wait, what?

Something is definitely not right.]

[Action; Later]

[Out on the lawn of 1338 Benny Road, Karkat is helpfully whistling and doing the lawnmowing.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, another Karkat runs up to him and punches him in the face.]

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Please, you're such an unbearable smug smiling sack of shit that they would rather have me, and that's saying something!

[Dodging the lawnmower and trying to tackle him to the ground.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Evading the tackle and running for the door! He manages to get inside and slam it on Karkat's hand.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He hisses at the door slamming on his fingers, that will leave a bruise. But he forces his way inside anyway.]

Because you're still fucking me!

Can't I just be selfish and want to be the only worthless shithead around here?

[Tackling him with a headbutt to the chest.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He's slammed against the table propped up next to the door, but he doesn't seem damaged in any way. He grabs Karkat's arm and twists it hard.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

If you're going to insult me, at least be right, fuckstick.

[He takes the opportunity to elbow pod Karkat in the gut as hard as he can, spitting out a little blood in his mouth from the headbutt onto pod Karkat's shirt.]

I do hate you. At least I don't try to hide what an asshole I am. At least I don't go around with an ugly fat smile on my face like I don't know what an interminable fuck up I am.

You're completely sickening.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Smiling, he wipes away the bloody glob of spit and starts to twist Karkat's arm in front of him, attempting to wrench it out of the socket.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You would fuck up. You wouldn't be better.

[He wrenches his arm back. It hurts but it isn't bad yet. Pod Karkat has him caught by an arm so he takes that arm and bites down, hard and deep enough to draw blood.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Pod Karkat doesn't appear to be in pain, but he lets go of the arm and waits for Karkat to stop biting him. Once his arm is free, he takes the small amount of blood that's accumulated on his wrist and smears it on Karkat's shirt.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He swings a punch at Pod Karkat's jaw.]

It's not selfish to not want them to turn out to be slimy abominations like you. You're like the sock the universe uses when it rubs one off. You're like steaming liquified turd dripping down a musclebeast's ass.

I hate you so much. I just...

[Before Pod Karkat can react, he grabs his face in his hands and bites down hard on his lips.]

[echidna]

[ okay I'm saying this is before she gets podded somehow shhhhh.

and now what.

what.

w h a t.

what is this this.

she almost ollies right outy there, but if she's technically supposed to auspitize here then uh- maybe she should say something. ]

What are you doing?

[coolbowtie.livejournal.com]

[And look who's popping in behind her!]

Karkat! What's going on I heard yelling! Well, more than usual and-

[The fuck is all this.]

Oh, blimey, teenagers.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[We'll just assume that this thread takes place after Gamzee's been unpodded and stuffed enough sopor into his doppleganger to stash him away somewhere.

Anyway, curious at all the noise, he also wanders into the hallway.]

You okay, best friend? What's all the -- [freezes as he takes in this sight]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

[having thrown her podself into a closet or something, a still-goo-covered Terezi comes bounding into the hallway.]

Karkat?

[she.............















does not notice anything odd at all. what did you expect. she can't see shit. she stands there expectantly, completely unaware of the selfhatemakeouts.]

1/2

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[And Pod Karkat immediately shoves Karkat off him!]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Looking up from getting hate rejected by his pod doppleganger and

Seeing everyone staring at him and

just wipes the blood off his lips.]

[echidna]

[ well this is awkward for everyone isn't it. ]

Should we uh- leave you alone.

[coolbowtie.livejournal.com]

Yes, alone. Alone is good for uh... alone time... sort of personal... self things.

[Coughs.]

...Remember to be safe.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[Gamzee is definitely not one to laugh at people ever, but this whole situation has him choking down a few wild giggles.]

Congrats, bro! I knew you'd find that special motherfucker what you can spend the rest of your sweeps in hate with. Kinda a little motherfuckin' weird, but whatever, I ain't gonna get my judge on. Long as you're happy, yeah? [means all of this completely sincerely....]

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

Wait, what? Who's here? What's going on? Jade? Gamzee? ...Doctor?

[BLIND GIRL IS SO CONFUSED.

oh... oh wait she's starting to sniff out the situation.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[So much humiliation...it's taking a little bit, but he's finally snapping out of it and shoving a hand over pod Karkat's mouth.]

It's not fucking like that!

Haven't any of you complete fucking assholes every heard of knocking?

[To go into the hallway...]

[echidna]

[ Jade pats Terezi's arm. There there, blind girl. ]

I think Karkat was getting in a fight with himself... a tongue fight.

[ Thank you for that eloquent explanation Jade. ]

[coolbowtie.livejournal.com]

Hello, Terezi! Nice to see you.

And yes, I do believe we walked in on something rather private.

...New rule everyone! Any yelling heard means knocking before entering.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[looks around him confusedly] But there's no door here to knock.

And if ain't like that... [trails off and stares at Karkat suspiciously] Bro, you ain't thinking of cheating on Terezi, are you? That's seriously motherfuckin' low.

[come on dude, she's right there]

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

[Terezi makes a strangled sound.] Karkat, you are so dislusting! I told you so! I called it and you denied it but I knew it!

[she huffs. no, it's not what Gamzee said that bothers her. it's that Karkat is engaging in hatemakeouts with himself AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Everyone shut up! I know! And there was no tongue, Jade. And Doctor you do not fucking make the rules in this house. But there is officially now a knocking rule anyway.

Fine, things got out of control and there was a brief caliginous moment but I really don't feel that way about him.

Are you all happy? Are you all feeling satisfied by my complete and utter humiliation or should I continue?