crusthatecean | ♋ PCG 19

♋ PCG 19

[Phone]

[Karkat is calling! He sounds a little shaky this time, and he speaks quickly, dropping the normal amount of too-long-didn't-listen ranting.]

Okay, idiots, it's that fucking time again. My safe housing list for December is in the communication receptacle outside 1338 Benny Road, so come get an updated copy, or your first copy if you're new. I feel like by this point this is pretty self explanatory. If you have any information to correct or you want to add your house as a safe one, just call me.

[As he says, the list will be available in his mailbox. If you have any changes, please comment to that post!]

[Filtered to Beta Session Trolls; Hackable to 1338 Benny]

Okay, so some things. First of all, Equius and Nepeta are droned. It's fine, a lot of us have been droned and we've always come back. Anyway, they're probably just back in our session being sickening in piles of shit and not having anything awful happen to them in any way, so there's always that.

...Moving on. As I'm sure some of you have noticed, there are some trolls other than us showing up here. Adults. Some of you morons have been probably been stupid enough to talk to them.

I've been checking them out and I've come to the conclusion that we can't trust them. No matter how they seem, we just don't know enough about them, and frankly a lot about their existence is fucking suspicious.

So new rule, so ordered by your leader. No one is to talk to or otherwise communicate with any of the adult trolls. End of discussion.

Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, I need to talk to you privately.

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[He can tell Kanaya has him figured out and wants to talk. But he doesn't want to talk. He just wants this to go away.]

I'm forbidding you from speaking to them because they have their own issues and whether or not you agree, they are fucking dangerous. Even if the jade blood isn't, she clearly has enemies. Do you want to be dragged into that?

It wouldn't have to be a 'temporary solution' if all of you assholes would bother just for once showing me some fucking respect and not assuming I'm being overdramatic when I am serious about this.

...we'd thought our entire race had been reduced to twelve. But now there are more of us, and I don't think it's right to shun them even if I didn't think we could learn from their experience. Of course some of them will be dangerous, but so are some of us. If one's own propensity for danger were the only factor, then what would we do with Gamzee, or Vriska - or Eridan? Were the town to return me to my rainbow drinker state, perhaps I too would become a danger.

But we've faced danger before, Karkat. And were their enemies to follow them here, do you think they would abide by any established boundaries between generations? Sooner or later they too would notice any similarities no matter how well-hidden, and then perhaps decide that we were their enemies as well. I would rather face them with the cooperation of the elders than after we'd left them to their own devices.

I don't think you're being overdramatic, Karkat. I'm certain you have very valid reasons for feeling how you do.

But none of this will go away if we simply ignore it.

I'm not the one who said we should include Vriska or Eridan. And Gamzee is a different issue entirely.

Anyway, I'm done here. Do what you want.

*There's something sharper in her voice when she speaks next - or more firm, anyway. Perhaps it's slightly motherly?* Karkat, ignoring a problem does nothing to correct it, and I am trying to help. And in the event that you're considering terminating the conversation via audio hook, I feel obligated to remind you that I am well aware of the location of your hive.

Is it a different issue? You've devoted impressive amounts of time and effort - not to mention your true body - to ensuring he remains as harmless as possible. Danger is what we make of it, so I don't believe it's as different as you say.

*And then her tone softens.* Or do you believe they're dangerous because of what they could tell us?

What do you want? I told you, do what you want. This isn't up for discussion. This is listen to me, or don't, but if you don't, also don't bother trying to talk to me.

Is that really what you want? For the two of us to never speak again?

Of course I don't. But if talking to some complete strangers matters to you so much that you don't care how I feel about it, then maybe it should be.

When have I ever given the impression that I don't care about your opinions and beliefs? I may disagree with your conclusion but that certainly doesn't mean I disrespect the reasons that led you down that path.

If I didn't care how you felt I would not advising you against a course of action that I feel will only worsen the matter in the long run.

I understand why you feel like this, because she already told me, Karkat. About the grub she raised.

What did she tell you?

She... seemed very pleased to learn that her new human form - and indeed, their entire race - possessed bright red blood. She told me how, while serving in her duties to tend to the mother grub, she had found a newly hatched wiggler of that precise hue, a grub with no lusus and no sign to speak of. She told me that she abandoned her duty to raise the grub herself, and how he believed in the equality of all trollkind.

Beyond that, I did not inquire. To hear that kind of story from somebody else rather than you felt very much like intruding, and not in the helpful way I usually mean.

You prefer to conceal your blood, Karkat, and nobody could ever fault you for that. But I think that story is the reason you don't want us to speak with them, rather than a sense of danger. Am I wrong?

[There's a long silence, long enough that no one would blame Kanaya for thinking he'd hung up.

But Karkat just sighs.]

There might not be immediate danger, but things will be complicated.

*She has a bit more faith in him than that, and she's happy that it pays off.* I'm certain they will, yes, for many reasons. Not least of which is that I've found learning of one's ancestry to be slightly overwhelming.

But rejecting contact with them will only stave off complications at best while reducing our ability to deal with them. What will you do if Dolorosa's child arrives here in Mayfield to regain his troll body? Ignoring the problem won't make it go away.

He is here.

*Sudden understanding! You can hear the lightbulb go on over her head.* Oh.

Hence the abrupt implementation of this new rule, then.

I meant to make it a while ago. I was just busy.

And this provided as good an impetus as any.

Karkat... what are you frightened of? If these trolls truly are our ancestors, shouldn't we trust them? It's more than a little intimidating to be faced with her legacy, yes, but I would hope that you could trust her like you would me.

It's nothing like that.

I don't want to talk about it.

Is ignoring the problem really better?

You may not want to talk about it, but I can't help but think that it might be for the best if you did.

Yes.

I don't know what else to do.

Well, the discussion of potential solutions to problems is generally one reason why people converse with one another, isn't it?

*She keeps her tone as gentle as possible.* Karkat, the matter won't go away if you ignore it. Dolorosa won't go away, nor will her child or any of the others from their generation. I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm certain you know that it's true.

I promise I won't breathe a word to another, nor will I pass a thought of judgment, if you're willing to talk.

I'm not.

There are things I just don't want anyone to know. Maybe you'll all find out anyway, but it won't do any good if I explain myself, so I'm not.

Very well, if you're certain I won't force you. If you ever change your mind the offer will still stand.

I never used to put much weight in the concept of ancestry, you know, until I met her. ...it's a bit humbling, to be honest, even if it does explain some things about myself.

I don't dislike her or distrust her or anything. But whenever I do talk to her I just fuck up, so it's pointless.

I'm sick of this.

Firstly, I'm certain that you aren't, in your own words, fucking up nearly as often or severely as you believe yourself to be. Secondly, even if you were, the solution therein wouldn't involve isolating her from the remainder of her kind.

Sick of what?

Kanaya...

I've lived my whole life with these assholes hanging over my head. But I never thought anyone would ever have to know about it. That just makes it so much worse, I can't...I just can't fucking do this.

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