♋ PCG 19

[crusthatecean]

[Phone]

[Karkat is calling! He sounds a little shaky this time, and he speaks quickly, dropping the normal amount of too-long-didn't-listen ranting.]

Okay, idiots, it's that fucking time again. My safe housing list for December is in the communication receptacle outside 1338 Benny Road, so come get an updated copy, or your first copy if you're new. I feel like by this point this is pretty self explanatory. If you have any information to correct or you want to add your house as a safe one, just call me.

[As he says, the list will be available in his mailbox. If you have any changes, please comment to that post!]

[Filtered to Beta Session Trolls; Hackable to 1338 Benny]

Okay, so some things. First of all, Equius and Nepeta are droned. It's fine, a lot of us have been droned and we've always come back. Anyway, they're probably just back in our session being sickening in piles of shit and not having anything awful happen to them in any way, so there's always that.

...Moving on. As I'm sure some of you have noticed, there are some trolls other than us showing up here. Adults. Some of you morons have been probably been stupid enough to talk to them.

I've been checking them out and I've come to the conclusion that we can't trust them. No matter how they seem, we just don't know enough about them, and frankly a lot about their existence is fucking suspicious.

So new rule, so ordered by your leader. No one is to talk to or otherwise communicate with any of the adult trolls. End of discussion.

Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, I need to talk to you privately.

Comments

Filtered

[bullsit.livejournal.com]

Oh, uh, oops, sorry?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Who did you talk to?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Uhhhh...shit, I think I done already broke that motherfuckin' rule one or two or three or four times.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Fucking typical. Who have you talked to?

Phone

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

If you are looking for a safe place to hide in emergencies I've regained my ship and it has a few feet of armor plating.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

That sounds useful. Where is your ship?

[phone, private to Karkat]

[cullscuttlefish]

Karkat, it's Feferi. I think I've got my filters right. What's going on?

[It's not that she isn't worried about the others, but Karkat's right. No sense worrying about them. But she is worried; she trusts the Dolorosa and the Disciple. She can't not.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Right.

So, uh, Sollux told me he told you some things about the future.

Filtered

[chastesaw]

I'm certain you possessed the utmost in good intentions, Karkat, but your new rule seems a bit...

...well, premature. I haven't felt anything untrustworthy in them at all.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sorry, Kanaya, I forgot that I am completely incapable of making character judgments or leadership in general. Everyone should just assume I don't have any good reason for this decision and do what they want.

... I should apologise in advance

[noluckduck]

Wow, who the hell put ya in charge of PR?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know what PR is, but I put myself in charge of doing this shit for the general good. If you'd rather bust your ass to keep this information updated, be my goddamn guest.

Filtered

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

What's up, Kar?

If this is about those older trolls I'm likin' them so far...

Filtered

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's not, but fuck you. If you expect me to consider you one of us, you'll respect my rules.

The reason behind my decision to swallow the bile that wells up in my protein chute every time I talk to you is that Sollux informed me that since the two of you apparently have some sort of pact involving both of you becoming matesprits since no one will ever pity either of you, he's been sharing personal information about me with you.

l33t h4xx0rd

[echidna]

[ aka living in the same house and now also having dog ears which I assume are fully functioning. good luck keeping anything ever a secret, also don't bring any dog whistles around.

Jade approaches, looking very son I am disappoint. ]

Hey.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Just looking grumpy and upset, he's just finished cancelling several of his friendship plans.]

What do you want?

[Phone]

[grumpygumballs.livejournal.com]

...So. Do I even want to know why safehouses are needed in...wherever we are?

[Phone]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes. Okay, I'm not in charge of explaining shit to newcomers, I hate having to do that and I'm not really in the mood, so you should probably ask a housemate or something.

But the long and short of it is, about once a month something awful happens, and sometimes some of us die, and sometimes we need somewhere safe to hide.

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

Fuckass-san, Yamame will help you!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I already told you I'm not putting your fucking house on there.

Filtered

[a1a100.livejournal.com]

Dolorosa lives with me KK, I'm not going to stop talking to her just because you don't trust her.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, great! I'm glad listening to me is optional now.

phone;

[timetables.livejournal.com]

After what just happened do you really think "safe houses" help very much.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Why didn't I think of that? Every event here is the same, and what failed in one instance will obviously fail every time!

Filtered

[heardeadpe0ple.livejournal.com]

Oh! But they all seem so nice. It seems kind of mean to not talk to them for no reason. They don't know anything about our session other then whatever any of us told them!

But you wanted to speak to me privately, Karkat? I'm here!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's not for no reason.

Look, I just wanted to talk to you about some things. The first is that I think Sollux needs help, his porn addiction has grown out of control. You don't even want to know what kind of shit he looks at. I think you should talk to him and try to help, if it's even possible for there to be help for him.

The second is that I think he told you some shit about the future, and I just want to make sure that your strict adherence to timeline logic will continue, and you won't go around telling everyone what he said.

[Phone]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Safe houses?

You can add my place.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

And that would be?

[worstvikingever]

Sounds good, Karkat. Thanks for organizing this.

[AWKWARD PAUSE.]

So... how are you doing?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

What? I'm fine. Why are you asking?

[Transparent lies.]

[phone]

[eveningcalm]

Safe housing list?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I need a list to explain the list.

So it's basically just this thing I cobbled together. If you're in danger, whether from the town or for some other reason, it's a list of places where someone has agreed to let you in and will try to look out for everyone in their charge.

[hacked]

[coolbowtie.livejournal.com]

[WOW SUDDENLY BEHIND YOU. Because he was in the kitchen getting food. Which is in his hand. And it's probably fairly gross. Scones and chocolate frosting.]

More trolls are here, hm?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was the gist of the conversation you just eavesdropped on.